slash Portrait of Eternity slash
by mscatmoon
Summary: Slash. Suppliment to the Half Breed series. You knew Josef and Shane's relationship was complicated...what has been going on behind the scenes? What is their strange history? Read and find out, if you dare. Slash. M/M.
1. Regret a trois

**Warning**: _This_ chapter contains a male/female/male pairing. If that is going to freak out out, leave now. Fairly explicit, but edited from the original version to reduce the rating.

Note: This is the first chapter in the "suppliment" series. They are about events from my HB universe that were _not_ included in the previous stories posted here (they were posted elsewhere). Call them "missing scenes." If you've read the most current chapter of the main series, "Saving Grace," you know the extent of Josef and Shane's relationship. These stories will show the evolution of that relationship and explain the dynamics at work as well as provide background on their past. As one of my readers once said, they make "dangerous, difficult and complicated" look like safe, easy, and simple! This is a male/male slash relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it**.** These chapters will be edited from the original versions, which are more explicit, however there are some adult scenes as they are necessary to the plot/understanding of the dynamics. Note to **Shara** (Shane/Sara) fans: Shane loves Sara very much, and that's _not_ going to change. When these have all been posted and caught up to the main series, I will then start updating Prophesy again. Note to **slash** fans: I've had readers who've enjoyed these slash pieces without reading the main universe, so for the most part they can stand on their own.

Disclaimer: the characters of Josef and Coraline do not belong to me, and I am not making any profit nor is there any intent to infringe on copyrights. I do hold all rights to the character of Shane. He is fictional and is not intended to bear any resemblance to real people living or dead.

Chapter Summary: It's 1951 in New Orleans, and Josef comes to visit Shane. Coraline's there too, and as usual she's up to her old tricks playing with men's heads. But does she succeed this time? (this is the **only** chapter that will contain Coraline).

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**Regret a' trois**

By Cat Moon

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Josef:

I have few regrets as a vampire. I don't really have many memories of my human life, just vague images that I'm not sure are real or only a figment of faulty imagination. Food? I could care less; blood is so much more…fulfilling. That being said, I can tell you I do regret never having tasted genuine, New Orleans gumbo. Oh, I've smelled it, seen the ecstatic looks on the faces of humans, and heard the nearly reverent praises. When one of my girls had the same look on her face while eating gumbo as she did when I bit her, I knew I had to add it to my short list of regrets. Now that's impressive.

Shane:

I don't believe in regrets. Trust me, when you live oh, a thousand years or so, they are a bitch you don't want to drag around with you. You know the phrase they use, "I'm only human" to excuse their flawed behavior. Guess it needs to be changed, because even vampires have lapses in judgment. My crazy ass brother likes to tell people his biggest regret is never eating gumbo. He wants to tell you about mine. Mine is having eaten… Well. Let's just say it _doesn't_ have anything to do with food.

**1951: New Orleans**:

Josef (aka Charles) let himself silently into the botanica, eyes scanning the interior with an amount of curiosity that annoyed the aloof vamp. The front room was dark, shadows pooled in the corners and spilled out over the dusty floor. A candle flickered faintly on some sort of altar where several objects rested, the meaning of which totally lost on him. Music could be heard coming from the back of the building; drumming and some sort of chanting/singing in a language he didn't recognize. He picked up a jar from one of the shelves lining the wall, studying the frog inside with detached interest before putting it back. Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, he moved to stand in the doorway leading to the back room.

A man in a black robe was doing the drumming, while a woman softly sang and added ingredients to a large pot. So engrossed were they in their task, they never noticed the new person in their space. It was an unusual occurrence, since one of them was a vampire and should have sensed Josef's presence the moment he'd entered.

Soon the drumming sped up, then it and the voice abruptly stopped.

Josef decided that was his cue. "Bokor, baby!" He announced his presence.

"Jay-Jay!" The unlikely blond haired, blue eyed voodoo priest put down his drum and went over to Josef, embracing him enthusiastically, clearly happy with the surprise visit. "It's great to see you, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Slumming!" Josef returned with a grin. The bane of his existence, the thorn in his side for almost four hundred years, yet, grudgingly, he was glad to see Shane as well.

Shane pointed a finger at him. "Watch it. This can be a dangerous place."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to end up _undead_ or anything like that," Josef retorted. He turned his attention to the other occupant of the room. She was a dark skinned woman, draped in a gauzy, flowing white dress. Her beauty was striking, her eyes intense and piercing as they studied him. They were eyes a man could willingly drown in.

Shane smacked his arm to get his attention, and spoke to the woman. "Angelique, this is an old friend of mine, Charles Fitzgerald. Chuckie, this is Angelique, she owns the business. I'm just helping out for a spell." Pun intended, judging by the grin that accompanied it.

Josef bent, gallantly kissing her hand. "Pleasure." He offered her his most charming smile. "That's a beautiful name to fit such a beautiful woman."

"I was named after Marie- Joseph Angelique, you have heard of her?"

"No, I don't think I have. Do we know her?" he asked Shane.

"That was back in the 1730's," Shane supplied.

Details like that were always of interest to centuries' old vampires who might be curious as to whether they not only had heard of the person, but _knew_ them. In this case, it wasn't a time period Josef was too anxious to revisit. He'd only been a vampire for a a number of years and the memories for himself and Shane weren't particularly pleasant. Brothers not by family but via the same sire, it had been a rough decade at the hands of the perverse vampire who'd created them. The only thing good to come of it was the complex and difficult but unbreakable bond between them.

Angelique continued with the story. "She was a slave in Canada who fought and died for her right to freedom. They say she burned Old Montreal almost to the ground. Many scholars now believe she may have been innocent, but I like to believe she did it," she told him with a small, hard smile.

Shane smacked Josef a second time. "Watch out with this one, okay? She's a vodou priestess. Wouldn't want you turning into a zombie."

"Hasn't stopped you," Josef noted, having smelled the other vampire on her.

Shane grinned again. "Yeah but I'm the bokor."

"You shouldn't joke of such things," Angelique reprimanded them with a frown.

"Who's joking?"

"He's not joking," Josef responded at the same time.

"You have my permission to "turn" him if he misbehaves," Shane told her.

"Ah, brotherly love. I've missed it so."

"You missed me! I'm getting all choked up." He threw an arm around Josef's shoulder.

"It's all the incense, it looks like an opium den in here. Smells a little like one, too…"

"Ah, memories…"

"I'm in town on business till the end of the week," Josef told him. "Naturally, I'm throwing a party tonight; I expect you there."

"You know I like a good party."

XXX

Josef's party in the hotel's grand ballroom was in full swing already when the bokor arrived. He'd traded his long black robe for dress more fitting of for a high society, Fitzgerald affair. There was the usual ample supply of beautiful, willing human women, mingling among businessmen and politicians of mixed persuasion. Champagne and caviar flowed freely.

"You made it," Josef said, coming up to him. "And you even got dressed."

"If I walked in here as the bokor, half your guests would keel over dead from fright."

Josef looked at him with blatant skepticism. "You are so full of yourself."

"It's a whole different world down here, Chuckie. You'd be surprised how many pillars of New Orleans society respect the hoodoo. As well they should."

"Speaking of annoying nicknames, what are you going by down here?"

Shane paused a beat that spoke volumes. "Odin."

Josef's laughter was so loud that several head's turned in their direction. "I don't believe it."

"Hey, I'm the bokor," he defended. "I need a mystical-sounding name, and I just figured…" he let it trail off uncomfortably.

"So tell me, how many people did you inadvertently kill before you got the hang of the whole zombie thing?"

"Hey, Angelique's a great teacher. And the trick is to use just the right amount of puffer fish toxin based on size and weight of the intended."

Josef shook his head. "A vampire turning people into zombies. There's something deeply…twisted about that." He hesitated before finishing. "I like it."

"I knew that you would appreciate the absurdity. What's _she_ doing here?" Shane asked, his attention diverted by a new arrival.

Josef looked across the room to see Coraline making her typical grand entrance. Most of the male eyes in the room turned to her, as was always her intent. She wore a provocatively low cut black dress accented with red: bright red lipstick, purse, shoes, and belt.

Josef shrugged. "It's a free country, right?" He'd been casual friends with Coraline for almost a century. While she had her faults – didn't everybody? He wasn't naïve enough to fall for her seduction games and she knew it, so they had an amicable acquaintance. He could even admire her skill at manipulation, since it was a trait he shared albeit in a different area of practice. And there wasn't a man alive or undead who didn't admire her beauty and sex appeal.

"Now I know why they call it New Whoreleans." Shane, on the other hand, didn't share his tolerance.

"No, that's what _you_ call it. They call it the Big Easy."

"That too."

"I've heard Coraline called a lot of things, _easy_ not being one of them."

"She's a Duvall, 'nuff said."

The Duvall's were full of pompous self-importance, regarding anyone not of their royal bloodline as inferior and in love with the old world attitudes and rules that both brothers found tedious and outdated (a vampire needs to change with the times, Shane was fond of saying). However, the main thing Shane held against them actually had nothing to do with them. Josef had lost his own royal ties, his place in his family severed when he was turned. A young, sheltered, pampered son initiated into a sadistic, dark world by an amoral sire who took it all away from him. For that reason alone, Shane was glad he'd killed their sire, didn't even need all the other reasons – of which there were plenty. It took Josef nearly a century to regain lost ground and come into his own again. His new place had been earned by hard work, cunning intelligence, and a shrewd business sense. Shane was proud of him, but still… it rankled that Josef had lost his birthright while they arrogantly flaunted theirs.

Well except for Coraline. He had to give her credit for that; she was always defying the family, rebelliously going her own way and ignoring propriety whenever it suited her. If not for her nasty habit of using men up and spitting them out, he might even admire her a bit.

Dismissing the subject of Duvall's, Shane turned his attention to a small pouch he'd just removed from his pocket. He took some of the light brown powdery substance inside and put a pinch of it under his tongue.

"What the hell is that?!" Josef stared at him.

"A vamp dream come true, my friend." He handed the bag to Josef, who regarded it dubiously.

"You don't trust me. I'm wounded. C'mon, I hate to get high alone."

"High? You're a vampire," he felt it necessary to state the obvious, since Shane seemed to have forgotten.

"Just a little thing I cooked up at the bot."

"You're insane."

Shane nodded his agreement. "It's one of the things you love about me."

"That's true." Josef agreed. "So you're telling me you actually created a drug that affects vampires?"

"See for yourself."

And so he did.

XXX

The party had lost its interest to Josef. He was trying to figure out why that was, but finding the whole concept of 'thinking' to be difficult to grasp at the moment. Maybe he shouldn't have invited Shane to the party after all. Slumming…. Well, it was interesting once in awhile, although he preferred his high society life. Shane was always seeking out the rough and rowdy. Of course, if it was _that_ distasteful to him, he wouldn't be joining Shane in his debauchery, would he? He wondered if he should be disturbed at the idea.

Josef glanced sideways as Shane. The other vampire was next to him on the settee, arm slung around his shoulders. "You're very strange," he pronounced as if he'd just thought of it.

"Do you like strange people?"

Josef waited patiently for his brain to cooperate, and then answered. "I guess I do."

"Then it's okay then."

"Okay."

Shane began tapping his foot to the music playing. "You'd think they would have come up with better music in this country by now. Something you can really _move_ to. Now, the African drums have a great beat, it can carry you away and fill you with the spirit of the Loa."

"The who??"

Before Shane had a chance to answer, Coraline sidled over to them, insinuating herself into the conversation. "I like this music. I think it's sexy." She swayed her hips in time to Wynonie Harris, "All She Wants to do is Rock." It should be noted that it being 1951, he was not referring to rock and roll.

"Well, yeah, indecent lyrics are always fun. But what _don't_ you think sexy, Coraline?" Shane inquired.

Smiling, she squeezed herself into the space between the two men, putting a hand on his leg. "Oh, I don't know but I definitely think you're sexy, both of you," the other hand went on Josef's leg.

"Hi Coraline." Josef smiled at her. The hand felt very nice on his thigh, he decided he liked it there. "Are you enjoying the party?"

She pouted. "I suppose, but you didn't even come over to greet me. That's so inhospitable of you not to greet your guests."

"Sorry darling, I was just catching up with Odin here." He smirked at the name.

She looked questioningly at Shane. "What happened to Edward Fitzgerald?"

"It was EDVARD," Shane corrected peevishly.

"His brother killed him," Josef supplied, snickering.

The last Coraline had heard, Shane and Josef were doing the "brother" thing in New York, living as the Fitzgerald brothers. Predictably, the togetherness wore thin after just a couple of years, and Shane had moved on to New Orleans.

"This whole continent is mine, did I ever tell you?" Shane declared. "I discovered it." He announced out of thin air.

Josef's eyes lifted heavenward as if appealing for strength. "Ignore him, he says some bizarre stuff when he's high."

"The freshie you two shared must have had more drugs in her veins than blood," Coraline guessed. "It's always fun around the two of you," she declared, swaying side to side with the music, which incidentally pressed her body into the two on each side of her in turn.

"You do liven up a party yourself," Josef told her.

"That's why you invite me Charles, dear," she said, moving to kiss his cheek. Anticipating her move, he turned his head so that she made contact with his lips instead. Quick on the uptake as usual, she accepted and deepened the kiss, her hand on Shane's leg tightening as Josef's tongue slipped into her mouth.

After a few moments of enjoying the kiss, she turned to Shane. "Oh we don't want Edward to feel jealous, do we?" she said, offering her lips to him.

"Ah hell, why not," Shane pronounced, and took a deep kiss for himself.

"We probably shouldn't be shocking your guests though, should we?" Coraline asked them after it was over.

"Just what are you suggesting, Coraline, dear?" Even less interested in the party than before, Josef thought perhaps she had something more intriguing in mind.

She looked at Shane speculatively, knowing if there was going to be resistance, where it would most likely be from. "Why can't we go somewhere…quieter, and visit with each other? Just the three of us."

The male vampires looked at each other, then at Coraline.

"My suite upstairs is the best in New Orleans," Josef told them.

"Ah, what the hell," Shane decided again.

XXX

Coraline was thrilling at her luck as she accompanied the two men upstairs. Josef, well, they'd always been just friends but she really didn't know why it had never gone further. She supposed they weren't really each others' type. Or maybe they genuinely didn't want to damage their friendship by sleeping together. This opportunity was too good to pass up, however. Josef could handle himself… or not. She'd had her sights on Shane for decades now, but he'd never accepted any of her advances. At first it had baffled her, then annoyed her. Now, she considered him a personal challenge. How dare he turn her down? When she wanted a man, she got him. If Shane thought he was too good for her, he was about to learn his lesson. She had a drugged up freshie to thank for that, she supposed, but wasn't above taking advantage of any opportunity presented to her.

She was still contemplating how to play it when they arrived at the suite. Some men liked the direct approach, bold, straight to the point. She would bet everything Shane was that type of man. Josef on the other hand, was more into the chase, the foreplay as a pleasurable appetizer. That could be problematical. However, Josef was the least likely to back out of the activities, so she would direct her efforts on keeping Shane engaged.

As soon as the door was shut and the men had shed their jackets, she moved close to them, running her hands over their chests. "Mmmm…." She purred, "I think we're going to have a really good time."

"Indubitably."

Coraline laughed with Josef at Shane's weirdness. "I like this side of Edvard," she decided, slipping her hand inside his shirt and rubbing his chest. "Undo my zipper," she told Josef, letting him reach around her to open the dress. She didn't want either of them left with nothing to occupy them, lest they get cold feet. She had to take charge and keep things moving so they wouldn't have a chance for second thoughts. It might take some finesse, but it was nothing she couldn't handle.

Coraline was an expert at handling men.

Her dress fell to the floor, and she stepped out of it, leaving her in black lace bra and panties. An arm glided around Josef, her other hand moved to cup Shane's hardness. Josef's hand stroked down her back, sliding under her panties to caress and tease.

Shane was shrugging out of his shirt, so Coraline turned her attention to helping Josef out of his. While they were undressing him, she felt Shane press up behind her. She pushed closer to Josef, loving the feeling of being sandwiched between the two. She rubbed herself against Josef like a cat, then back into Shane, and it excited her to feel that both men were already hard for her. The clothing came off faster then, until both men were naked.

It was a blur of hands and bodies after that, hard to keep track of. Shane was kissing her neck, Josef her mouth, hands were on her body but she didn't know whose belonged to whom. Her breast was being stroked and squeezed, her panties ripped at the side to fall quickly off (and someone was going to owe her for those, they were expensive and purchased in Paris). The clasp of the bra was unhooked, and fingers immediately took advantage. She took both men into her hands and stroked them, gasping as another set of fingers slid into her.

"Bed…" she mumbled, trying to steer them over to it without losing physical contact. Laughing, they collapsed in a tangle of limbs. Josef captured her mouth roughly; his fang pricked her lip and when the flavor hit his tongue he sucked on it.

The smell of the blood caught the other vampire's attention, and he turned his kisses of her thigh into nips. She shivered as he moved up her leg like that, just breaking the skin with tip of fang, swiping the blood with his tongue as it healed, another nip…

The power, the sheer electrical force from the three vampires in the room was building. She could feel it tingling along her skin deliciously. It was going smoother than she could ever have hoped or imagined.

But, Coraline being Coraline, she just couldn't help upping the ante.

She pulled away from them teasingly, kneeling at the foot of the bed and taking a minute to admire the male beauty spread out before her for the taking. The combination of drug and sex had them willing. Oh, they were ready for anything she had in mind, all right…

"You know what would be really hot?" she whispered seductively, fending off the hands that tried to pull her closer again. "Touch each other for me." She bit her lip as she waited to see if they'd go for it.

She was rewarded when they seemed to give each other another 'what the hell' look. Shane's hand trailed down Josef's chest until it found his erection, wrapping firmly around it. Josef made a small sound of enjoyment and reached for Shane to return the favor.

Coraline smiled predatorily as she watched the two men pleasuring each other, but her eyes held a hard glint. Revenge mixed so well with sex, giving it an edge that only added to the intensity. Being stoned and horny put them in a very suggestible frame of mind. The day after… well, that would be a very different mood entirely. It would be interesting to see if they were able to overcome the shame and embarrassment, or if it would totally freak them out, causing a serious rift between the long time friends.

"Oooh, that makes me so hot," she murmured. "Two strong, hard, sexy men to watch. I'm going to reward you for making me happy, I promise. You want my mouth, don't you?" she asked, stroking Josef's thigh close to where Shane's hand was caressing. "I want to see you kiss…"

Almost before she had finished her sentence, Shane's mouth had swooped in and captured Josef's. Josef's head fell back and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.

It was funny how men were. The more open, bawdy ones didn't mind sharing a girl, even fondling each other -- but simple kissing was somehow unmanly and considered more intimate. It wouldn't be brushed off as just a sex thing.

Drunk with lust and the power she was wielding over the two vampire men, she sat back and played with herself as she watched them devour each other's mouths. Shane wrapped his arm around Josef and pulled him closer; the other man hooked a leg over his thigh to bring them into closer contact. Their bodies rocked into each other as they kissed, lost in the passion.

Coraline's smile dimmed a bit; hot as it was, she was starting to feel left out, almost as if they had forgotten she was in the room. That wouldn't do at all. She would have to adjust her plan a bit.

"That's so good…" she crooned, her hands caressing and moving their bodies further apart. "Now it's time for your reward." Feeling just a little bit sorry for Josef for what she was planning, she turned her attention to giving him the best blowjob she could. Being an expert, she knew exactly how good that was. After a few moments however, she realized they were kissing again. Anger creeping in, she released him and rolled over. She knew what she wanted to have happen now, if only she could choreograph it well enough...

Coraline climbed over Shane, lowering her body onto his as his hands automatically went up to help support her. "Fuck me Shane." Vampire eyes flashing and fangs bared, he obeyed her request. Flames of pleasure shot through her body at the contact. She maneuvered them onto their sides so that Shane's back was to Josef. Through her haze of pleasure, she wondered if Josef would go for it.

She managed to grab his hand and coax his arm around Shane from the back, encouraging him to press closer to them, into Shane.

"We don't want you to feel left out," she whispered to Josef, hoping he would take the bait. "Fuck him." She was gleeful, heady with her power as it washed over her in waves. She knew the instant he complied with her command; his weight against the other man drove Shane's body deeper into hers and forced a groan out of him.

"That's good… that's good…" Shane repeated as he drove into her. His hands around her arms were like a vise, nails digging in and drawing blood.

She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds in the room. Their bodies connecting, the slight squeak of bed springs, the groans and moans and curses. Shane stiffened and she opened her eyes to see Josef had sunk his fangs into the other man's neck. It was such a hot sight to see, she knew she was going to go over the edge any second. The increased flow of blood drove them all higher, and she offered her neck to Shane, who sank his fangs in without hesitation.

She felt their bodies curling into each other, moving faster, harder, as all three of them strove toward their goal. Then she was there, her body clenching tightly around Shane inside of her, and he was growling "do it you bastard," and Josef came with a shout, buried deep inside Shane.

Oh yeah, revenge was a hell of a good fuck.

XXX

Shane didn't realize his eyes were closed until he opened them. He looked around the room blearily, not quite sure how much time had passed or what was going on. Fortunately – or not – it came back to him quickly, in vivid and complete detail. They were in Josef's room, in bed. Coraline was now nowhere to be seen, having done her 'damage' and apparently made a hasty exit so as to avoid the fallout.

He groaned. "Oh god, tell me we didn't do that…" he moaned, mortified by what his memories were supplying. "I swear I'll _never_ get stoned again. Tell me I didn't sleep with Coraline!"

Josef smirked at him from the other pillow. "Yes, we did."

He flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "That's it, I'm swearing off drugs. I'm flushing the shit down the toilet. Never again."

"Ah, but look at the bright side. If I know Coraline, she's beside herself with giddiness, thinking she pulled one over on us when it's the opposite." For Josef there was no downside to the evening. As far as he was concerned Coraline was hot; he'd never kick her out of bed. And he enjoyed being with Shane. Win-win scenarios were his absolute favorite.

Shane grinned at him. "Yeah, she probably thinks she fucked us over good. Pity she'll never know the truth, though."

"It's still amusing. I bet she thinks she's made us hate each other – jokes on her, we already hated each other," Josef quipped.

Shane smiled at him. "C'mere," he growled, sliding his hand around the back of Josef's neck and pulling him closer. "I need to replace the horrifying memories..."

Josef shook his head in bemusement at Shane's comedic dislike of Coraline. Then their lips met, and he too forgot all about Coraline Duvall.

In the end though, one has to wonder. Was it Coraline wanting her revenge on Shane, and poor Josef stuck in the middle? Or… was it Coraline and Josef, battling it out in a master manipulation tournament, with the stoned Shane unknowingly caught in the middle?

Or…

THE END

**end note**: again in case you missed it, this is the **only** chapter that will include Coraline. Most will be male/male slash, Josef/Shane. If you don't like, don't read. They will be fairly explicit although I will be editing them to reduce the rating.


	2. Great Balls of Fire

**AN**: This story was previously published by itself so you'll recognize it. It belongs with the rest of these, so I've transplanted it to make it better organized for me as they are together on other sites.

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**Great Balls of Fire**

**.**

New York, December 1957:

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"You gotta hear this!" an uncharacteristically excited Shane exclaimed, barging into the office unannounced with a vinyl record clutched to his chest and striding over to commandeer the phonograph player.

"Oh I, do, do I?" Josef said with a level of tolerance he was pleased with himself for exhibiting. "Hello, nice to see you, I didn't know you were in town, why didn't you call…"

"I'm in love!" Shane yelled with such conviction that the fact was unquestionable.

Josef shrugged. "It was bound to happen one of these centuries. Who's the girl?"

"No girl," he said distractedly, putting the record on the turntable.

Josef's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "You're in love with a man? I may have to be jealous," he said, only half joking.

"Okay, so Bill Haley's pretty good and I _really_ dig Little Richard, I mean, who wouldn't like good golly miss molly sure likes to _ball_-- but this… Listen!" he demanded, bringing the needle down with a flourish.

Four piano chords broke the silence, then the vocals filled the room: "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will but what a thrill, goodness gracious, great balls of fire," came the energetic voice from the turntable.

"I see you're still into that rock and roll stuff," Josef noted.

"This is it, baby. This is why I've lived almost a thousand years," he proclaimed, dancing around the room to the music with wild abandon – as well as plenty of hip action.

"Good grief, act your age. That's it, you've finally gone totally off your rocker," Josef declared as Shane sang the words to him, unconcerned with his opinion.

"Oh, I haven't even begun to rock," he promised, deliberately twisting the phrase. He swiveled Josef's desk chair around backwards and leaned in on the arms, being annoying and provocative all at once in typical Shane style. "Kiss me baby, ooohhhh feels good! Hold me baby, well I want to love you like a lover should…"

Josef shook his head in fond exasperation the Shane's antics. "Personally, I've always thought it all sounded the same."

"Cretin!" Shane declared, giving the chair a push that sent it spinning in a circle. "If you need me I'll be in L.A. I'm going to get a band together."

Josef couldn't help smiling at his enthusiasm, even if he _did_ fear for his brother's sanity. For quite a few years now he'd noticed a change in Shane. He seemed bored with life, took more outrageous lifestyles as if craving the variety – like his stint as a voodoo priest in New Orleans! It was a subtle change, no one but someone as close as Josef (and there was no one closer) would even have noticed. It had disturbed him on some subliminal level, and he hadn't realized how much until this moment, seeing the excitement in Shane's eyes like something had set his soul on fire. That was worth it. Even if it _was_ over rock and roll.

"Let me know if you need anything," Josef told Shane as the record ended and was promptly started again. "Bail money, record contract, name of a good shrink..."

Shane pulled him up out of the chair. "You gotta loosen up," he chastised, dancing with him around the room.

"I'm loose in bed," he told Shane with a sly grin. "I don't do moves like that in public."

"What a square!"

"Square?!" Josef exclaimed in mock indignation at the insult. He bent Shane over backwards in a dip and was just about to lay a kiss on him – when a loud knock at the door was followed immediately by his secretary Rhonda poking her head into the room.

"Uh… Mr. Fitzgerald, sir? I uh, can come back later…"

Josef rolled his eyes heavenward as Shane grinned irrepressibly. "You're always getting me in trouble," he told Shane, letting go of him. He would have fallen to the floor if not for good vamp reflexes.

"Yes, do come back later, Rhonda. After I've committed the crime and hidden the body."

"Yes, sir." Having worked for Josef for four years now, she was used to strange goings-on, and very versed in ignoring them. The door closed again.

"Take the plane, don't bother with that commercial crap," he told Shane. "Just let my pilot know when you want to leave ahead of time so he can file the flight plan."

"Let's go out on the town tonight. I'll take you to all the best clubs."

"To hear the devil's music, huh?"

"Best kind."

"The stock market hasn't closed yet…"

"You work too hard," Shane told him.

"Give me strength," he asked the air as he was led out the door by Shane.

"If you're lucky, you'll need it," Shane promised.

.

**End Chapter One: Great Balls of Fire**

"Great Balls of Fire," written by Otis Blackwell/Jack Hammer. Recorded by Jerry Lee Lewis


	3. Zugzwang

Pairing: Josef/Shane. Slash. Male/Male sex. For mature audiences. Don't like, don't read. It's never "just sex" with these two, they reveal so much about their relationship that it's hard to edit anything out.

Note: Just FYI, when I began writing "Complications" the direction the universe has taken never entered my mind. I write with muses, and they don't always let me in on what they have in store. Josef was acting strange, didn't know why. This story was where I started figuring it out.

Summary: This missing scene follows chapter eight of "Complications." To recap, in that chapter, Shane and Sara had returned to Josef's after attending a rock concert; Shane bouncing off the walls with energy and announcing that he's decided to leave his life in Alaska and go back to the rock & roll he loves. Josef's behavior all the while Shane has been in L.A. has been rather odd, there are hints of things going on that we don't know. Now we do. PS: Shane's dense.

.

**Zugzwang**

.

_--The term zugzwang is frequently used in chess. A player whose turn it is to move who has no move that does not worsen their position is said to be in zugzwang. Thus every move would make their position worse, and they would be better off if they could pass and not move. (Wikipedia)_

_._

_Wherever you go, I'll be there; I'll be waiting to care for you_

_Whatever you want, I'll try to give, no matter what I have to do_

_Through thick and thin I'll be your friend, by your side till the very end_

_You're all I want, all I need, so baby flow like a river to me…_

_--Whitesnake, All I Want, All I Need_

.

April 2008:

Fifty years. How could so much time have passed, in the blink of a cosmic eye? Five decades, and Shane was waltzing into Josef's space again, CD's clutched in his grasp instead of a 45 record. (And Josef actually found himself liking the stupid Whitesnake album, how sad was that?). Still in love with his rock and roll…and, unbelievably, in love with a human girl named Sara. So much changed, so much still the same, and Josef was unsure of which things fell into which categories.

Josef didn't like being unsure of anything.

One week since Shane had arrived in L.A. for what was only supposed to be a short visit. It felt like a year (so he'd told Shane); it felt like the blink of an eye. He'd been surprised when Shane had taken on a life as sheriff of the small town of Resurrection, Alaska almost a decade ago; he wasn't surprised that it was over and Shane was coming back. Back to the rock and roll that had been itself resurrected, back to L.A…

Josef sat in the wing chair, staring at Shane across the room. The energy still pouring off the other vampire even after several hours was palpable, reaching across the space between them and dancing along his nerve endings with an annoyingly pleasant tingle. He said nothing; just let the silence grow until it was stretched so thin it was almost at the breaking point. He didn't intend to make it easy for Shane.

"Nobody gets any peace if you can't get your way. You're a spoiled fucking brat, you know that?" Shane told him.

"And who the fuck do you think I am – besides a spoiled brat, of course?" he inquired archly.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Shane asked, finally coming closer. He was vibrating with the energy, and Josef was pushing his buttons again. And they both knew it. "I guarantee you won't like it, whether it's good _or_ bad. You're perverse that way."

"And you're boring me. Why are you here?"

"Why do you want me to be?" Shane countered, earning one second of surprise that flitted across Josef's face. He hadn't been expecting that question. It was like playing a freaking chess game, and the last thing Shane was in the mood for. Of course Jay-Jay knew that.

Josef recovered quickly. "Who says I want you to be?"

The antique grandfather clock in the corner of the bedroom suite ticked away the seconds as they stared at each other, the sound unnaturally loud in the quiet room. There was going to be a stalemate if one of them didn't give in. It wasn't going to be Josef. Not with the current strategy. Shane felt like screaming in frustration.

It wasn't always this difficult between them. There was something off here; Josef had a bug up his ass about _something_.

"You knew I would be." Bingo, another hit? _What the fuck?_ He _didn't_ know?

Shane needed to burn off the energy that was still thrumming inside of him from the rock concert, and there was only one person in the whole world he could go to. The only one who knew all of his secrets, his past, who knew _him_. And vice versa. It was what they hated about each other, what they loved – and what bound them together for eternity.

Josef leaned forward in his chair. "So your little human's not enough for you?"

Shane's eyes flashed pale, but he managed to keep his control. It was an especially vicious jab, even for Jay-Jay. He knew he was being baited again; he was familiar enough with Josef's technique. If he took him now, Josef won. If he fell to his own knees and pleaded to know why Jay insisted on playing games with him, Josef won. If he turned and walked away – not that he had any intention of doing that – they'd both lose.

"And you call _me_ the puppet master?" Shane said incredulously, noting the pleased reaction to his 'compliment.' There was absolutely nothing he could do, except what Josef wanted him to do. He had basically lost the moment he walked in the door – but of course if he hadn't come at all, he'd still lose. "Where the fuck did you learn this shit from?!"

"It's a gift from God." The damn smile was genuine.

Shane took another step closer. He really wanted to wipe that smirk off the man's face. "You love to play games, but you know I hate them. Why do you enjoy torturing me? Do you hate me that much?" He paused to let Josef enjoy his self-satisfaction just for a moment. "Or do you _love_ me that much?"

Direct hit! Josef's eyes flashed. It was like picking his way through a mine field – all the while knowing it was only a matter of time before he stepped on one. All he wanted to do was fuck, and the man was driving him absolutely fucking insane.

"I hate your guts." And of course it was the only thing Josef _could_ say. And it was a lie, they both knew it, and there was something just underneath, just enough of something for Shane to know that Josef _couldn't_ make it easy on him. He had no choice in the matter any more than Shane did. Things were the way they were; why was _he_ torturing them both?

Shane deliberately raked his eyes down Josef's front, finally resigned to playing the game. "That bulge in your pants says otherwise," he told him with an unpleasant smile.

Josef shrugged. "Not necessarily, but I digress. You're definitely starting to bore me, and quite frankly I'm considering telling you to go find someone else to use to get your rocks off."

"_Use_?!" Shane was nearly apoplectic at the affront. "Fine." He turned toward the door in a calculated feign. In that split second, he caught enough _real_ in Josef's expression out of the corner of his eye to know it was what he wanted. In next instant Josef was against the wall with his eyes closed, Shane pressed against his back.

"You're either an idiot or an asshole," Shane growled into his ear. "It was a turn on for you when I was doing this in the garden, wasn't it?" He pressed his body harder into Josef's, making sure his own arousal could be felt. They had been fighting over Sara at the time, well, at least that's what he'd thought they were fighting about; now he wasn't quite so sure… He felt Josef's lower body pressing back into his. "You're a sick puppy, you know that?"

Josef twisted in his grasp. "_Me_? Look who's talking, you—"

Shane grabbed his face roughly and kissed him. Knew he had to stop them both talking before they said things to each other that they didn't want to, that couldn't be taken back. He spared a moment to feel sad that it had to be this way…but it's the way Jay-Jay wanted it. So be it.

"You want to do it this way, fine we'll do it your way you stupid, stubborn son of a bitch," Shane growled, manhandling Josef out of his clothes.

Josef was grinning. "I love it when you get all romantic." Fingers too impatient to deal with buttons ripped his shirt. "Do you know how much these clothes cost?"

"Do I look like I care?" Shane returned.

One of the things he personally loved most about having the vamp speed was how the impediment of clothing could be gone in the blink of an eye. He shoved Josef face down on the bed, one hand fumbling in the drawer of the nightstand for some sort of lube he _hoped_ was stashed there. As vampires, injury no longer held any concern and pain wasn't _quite_ the same as it once was either, but some things they still shared with humans.

Shane had just scored his prize and closed his hand around the tube when Josef started to turn over. He slapped him across the ass in warning. Hard.

"Hey you sicko!" Jay-Jay complained.

"Sicko?!" Shane had to laugh through his anger and arousal.

Shane watched for a moment as Josef moved on the bed, rubbing himself against the mattress. He caressed one cheek, squeezing and sliding fingers over the opening of Josef's body. His mouth and tongue followed, and the other man nearly levitated off the bed when his tongue slipped inside.

He squeezed some lube onto his fingers and slipped them inside when Josef growled at him. "You've been fucking human women too much – if you don't get on with it and give it to me, I'm going to find a vampire who can!" he threatened.

Shane didn't need any more encouragement – or insulting, whichever it was. He spread a handful of lube over his cock and pushed into the body waiting for him.

Josef shoved back with a yell of triumph, impaling himself completely.

Shane vamped out at the first sharp spikes of pleasure. He reached around to grab Josef's erection, jerking him off roughly as he pumped into him. Hard, fast, and rough. Just like he'd wanted it. Who'd wanted it? Josef. No, he did. Both of them. Good, so good. Josef met his thrusts with equal force. The energy between them intensified, quickly building to a crescendo. Shane sank his fangs into Josef's neck, and the sensation pushed Josef over the edge. He came with a shout. The combination of both sent Shane over as well, the energy surrounding them flowing into the point where their bodies met, and exploding out into the universe.

XXX

They lay there facing each other, recovering. Both replete and boneless, that wonderful feeling of total relaxation that only comes after great sex. Some would consider it an especially vulnerable time, even more so than the act of sex itself.

Shane reached out to cup Josef's face tenderly, noting the flash of alarm in the other man's eyes with satisfaction. He pulled him closer.

"What are you—" Before he could finish the sentence, Shane had covered his mouth with a kiss.

"I missed you," Shane told him when the kiss ended. Josef tried to move away, but Shane grabbed his face in both hands and wouldn't let go. "No games. Just you and me, here. Guess what I'm going to do now?" he asked with a smile.

"Fuck…" Josef moaned as a mouth closed over his dick, which was fast coming to attention again. The strong suction continued to torment for an endless time. Then that mouth proceeded to kiss and lick its way up Josef's body from groin to chest. "Oh fuck…" he repeated helplessly. "You're such a bastard."

Shane pulled Josef's legs onto his thighs so he could push into him from the front. He held Jay-Jay's face firmly in his hands, locking gazes and not letting him look away. One well placed thrust nailed his prostate, and his eyes closed.

"Open your eyes," Shane whispered to him. He thrust slowly, drawing out the pleasure. "Why are you mad at me?"

"Don't. I'm not—" his voice cut off as another jolt of pleasure interrupted, making him cry out.

Shane put his head down against Josef's. "Talk to me."

"You're not…not playing fair," he managed through the pleasurable sensations bombarding him.

"Because I'm not playing," Shane told him. "I love you, you know that."

"What the hell am I supposed to say? What do you want me to say, dammit!"

"Just be here with me. Just _be here_." And Shane Alexander wasn't stupid, even if it did take him awhile to figure some things out. "The way I feel about Sara has nothing to do with how I feel about you. If you don't know that you're an idiot."

The fight finally went out of Josef. The eyes that looked at him were eyes he rarely saw anymore. They were Jay-Jay's eyes.

"I h—I love you," he admitted. "I missed you," he whispered, grabbing Shane's arms and drawing him closer.

Shane pulled Josef's head down to his neck, offering. "I need you," he said in a voice that shook with unguarded feeling.

And it was one of the things that was unchanged. "Fuck me," Josef demanded, and then sunk his fangs into the neck bared for him.

"I need you," Josef cried his own confession, in that moment of insanity otherwise known as orgasm.

XXX

Josef stared hard at Shane over his glass of B&B (blood & bourbon); just to be annoying, probably. He was still in bed, leaning against the headboard, the sheet drawn up to his waist.

"What are you a heathen? You don't have any J.D. in this place?" Shane said disgustedly, but had accepted the drink nonetheless. He was collecting the articles of his clothing scattered about, tossing them on the chair near the bed.

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on," Josef replied mildly.

"Uh, that would be you," Shane told him with a wide grin.

Josef spread his hands as if accepting the fact in good natured agreement. "Heathen? Where do you get this shit? You're the heathen you idiot, _you_ were the one born pagan."

"Not my fault my parents were hold-outs." Shane crawled back into the bed and kissed him, enjoying the flavor of the B&B in his mouth. "You won anyway, didn't you?" he asked.

Josef grinned. "If you don't know by now that I _always_ win…" But his kisses were genuine; they were unguarded and real and felt so good. The tension was gone.

Till next time.

"So why are you staying at a hotel, and not here?" Josef asked again.

Shane collapsed back down on the bed, pillowing his head in Josef's lap, exasperated at the repeated question. "You really want the freshies subjected to Sara? 'Cause I'm thinking that's a _bad_ idea," Shane told him, picturing her sharp tongue and probing questions. Considering the way she dispatched groupies, he was understandably concerned. He could picture the poor girls in tears before the end of the first day.

Josef ran his hand through Shane's hair, seemingly deep in thought, his mind somewhere else too. "What, you can't ask her to be nice?"

"We _are_ talking about Sara Adams, right?"

Josef had to concede the point. "I'm not going to steal her from you," he added almost as an afterthought.

"And she's not going to steal me from you, so I think we're even," Shane embarrassed him by saying.

Josef gave a hard yank to the hair still in his fist.

"Ouch, hey! Okay, look, we're going back to Resurrection in a few days anyway. When we come back down, while we're getting the band into shape and setting up the gigs, we'll stay here." He pointed a finger at Josef. "_You_ get to referee."

"Until I get sick of you and kick you out."

"Until then," Shane agreed.

No, in the end, you can't fight against love. It shows no mercy and takes no prisoners. Unconditional surrender is your only fate. When you do – you discover _you_ won after all.

.

_I remember the days when we were young;_

_ I held your hand like a precious stone_

_It's still the same, nothing's changed, baby_

_I'll never ever leave you alone._

_--You're All I Want, All I Need, Whitesnake_

.

**End Zugzwang **


	4. Life is Just a Fantasy

**AN**: femslash. F/F. For mature audiences only. If you have a problem with it, back out now.

**Summary**: Shane had a fantasy. This is it. As a fantasy, it's not really all that important to the plot of the universe, but it's part of the series so I've included it here.

----------------------------------------------------------

_So forget all that you see  
It's not reality, it's just a fantasy_

_Can't you see what this crazy life is doin' to me_

_Life is just a fantasy  
Can you live this fantasy life?_

_--Aldo Nova, Fantasy_

_._

What is the nature of the beast, that fantasy is so appealing to us? We spend huge chunks of our lives involved in the activity, and pay our entertainment and sports "heroes" gobs of money to provide us with it. It's apparently more important than teaching the children or protecting the innocent, if salary is to go by.

Some fantasies are dark, some are bright. They can be helpful and they can be dangerous. They titillate and thrill, embarrass and frighten. Some get turned into reality and others never see the light of day. The brain seems to crave them nonetheless; they even fill the sleeping mind. Except the minds of vampires, of course, they don't dream while asleep because they aren't really sleeping. Maybe that's why they are more inclined to live out fantasies with an almost-anything goes attitude.

Some people can't tell fantasy from reality. Others don't care to. Were the events this strange night only a dream played out upon the mind's eye? (and if so, whose mind?). Or was it a crazy fantasy made reality only through the unusual advantage of a unique vampire's perspective on life?

Does it matter?

XXX

The heartbeat to be heard on the other side of the door was slightly fast. Apprehension, but that was okay because there was anticipation there, too.

Shane opened the door, smiling a welcome to the visitor as he stood aside to let her in. "I'm glad you could make it. Have a drink," he nodded to the dresser where a bottle of Jack Daniels and three glasses waited. He didn't shake her hand or touch her in any way; he kept a good distance between them.

Beth fidgeted nervously with her purse, until he politely gestured for her to put it on the table. She did. Now that she no longer had anything to do with her hands, she busied herself scooping ice into a glass and filling it with a generous amount of J.D.

"Thank you," she said, bringing the glass to her lips.

"Thank _you_," he said with a smile that both thrilled and chilled until she had to look away, blushing. "Sara's in the bathroom freshening up. She'll be out in a sec."

Only then did Beth hear the shower running in the other room. It was a reassuring sound, although it was probably odd to be gaining comfort from a little nineteen year old girl's presence. Just what was she doing here? Curiosity? Vamp appeal? Her desire to learn everything she could about their world? Or was it something else, something much more personal and deeper, darker, that she didn't want to examine too closely?

"Don't think too much," Shane advised, and she started at the words. He wasn't a mind reader, she told herself. Just good at reading people.

Too good.

Shane brought up something on the laptop computer sitting innocently on the table and the heavy beat of a rock song filled the room, volume at an unobtrusive level. That and the liquor slowly making its way through her system relaxed her slightly. There was nothing to be afraid of here. Nothing to be nervous about. Only herself.

The shower had cut off at some point… she was going to have to start paying better attention to what was going on around her. The door opened and Sara walked out with a cloud of steam following her. She wore a pair of shorts and a thin, clinging tank top with no bra underneath. Beth herself was dressed casually, but not _that_ casually. She had on a light blue button down blouse, and a pair of shorts.

"Hey Beth," Sara greeted with a bright smile, giving her a hello kiss on the cheek. She went to the booze and helped herself to a drink, also fixing one for Shane.

"Thanks, babe," he said when she'd handed it to him. He backed up smoothly, sitting himself in the chair in the far corner, instantly engulfed in the shadows.

Beth almost panicked when he moved out of the light – as if she hadn't been unnerved by his close presence moments ago. Then he was gone, out of the scene as if he wasn't there at all. Except for the clinking of the ice in his glass, now and then reminding her that they weren't alone.

"Sit down and relax," Sara suggested. Beth gave the bed a quick glance and then sat on the only other chair in the room. "Are you nervous?" Sara asked her.

"Yes," Beth said in a rush of air, laughing a little at herself at the same time.

Sara came closer, trailing her fingers over Beth's shoulder as she moved behind the chair. "No reason to be. Have you ever done anything like this before?"

"Once, in high school," Beth admitted in a whisper. There had been alcohol involved. A lot of alcohol. It made the memory hazy and questionable as to accurate facts.

Sara took Beth's almost empty glass, and placed it along with her own on the dresser. "I haven't." Beth swiveled her head around to gawk at Sara, who gave her a wicked grin and a shrug. "The goal of living is to experience every single thing you can in your lifetime."

Now she was getting life wisdom from a nineteen year old? A girl who was now standing behind her, hands moving to unbutton her blouse. It occurred to her that she just might be looking at a female Shane. How could she have missed the obvious similarities before?

And how much experience must that be, when your lifetime is measured in centuries, and not decades?

Sara's fingers, cold from holding the drink, pushed open her blouse and brushed her nipples.

_Wish I'd worn a bra –._ "I'm glad you didn't wear a bra," the words and thoughts overlapped each other.

Beth's breath caught in her throat, as surprising heat began building in her center at the sensations.

"It's just a fantasy," Sara whispered along with the song playing, her mouth close to Beth's ear, making her shiver.

_I don't believe I'm here. Why am I here?_ Fingers unexpectedly pinched her, and she cried out, nearly jumping out of the chair.

Sara moved to the front of the chair, straddling Beth's leg and sitting down. Only then did Beth realize it wasn't shorts Sara wore but a skirt – and she had nothing on underneath. The feeling of the naked female heat on her leg was as startling as a gunshot. Hands kneaded and caressed Beth's naked breasts.

She was reminded of the drunken groping by her friend that night. She'd allowed them, mostly just feeling awkward and embarrassed. She felt those things now too, slightly, but shocked herself by the other, stronger feelings assaulting her. The undeniable desire.

"You can touch me if you want," Sara invited.

Beth's hands moved up to cup Sara through the top. She was smaller than Beth, but these were definitely a female's breasts she was fondling. Female tits, hard and pointy. Almost as if her hands didn't belong to her, she watched them grab the hem of the top and pull it over Sara's head. Her fingers brushed the exposed nubs, and Sara moved slightly against her thigh. Bold, she never expected herself to be the bold one; she bent forward and touched her tongue right….there.

Sara heaved a deep breath of air, her chest heaving. Emboldened by the reaction, Beth took a nipple into her mouth, sucking gently. Sara's arms went around her neck, holding her head close.

Sara rocked on Beth's leg. Beth moved her hands around the back, cupping her ass. Okay, an ass was an ass, if smaller than a man's. She released the breast and looked up at Sara. The next instant she found herself kissing another woman, tongues immediately tangling. Lust slammed through her, startlingly strong, stealing her breath. She couldn't breathe, wondered for a fleeting moment if she was having a heart attack.

"Oh god," Beth said, throwing her head back.

Sara bent forward and returned the pleasure, licking and nipping at Beth's breasts. Beth closed her eyes and just enjoyed the sensations.

Lost in a sensual haze, she barely noticed as she was led up by a hand. The sense of unreality continued as she felt her shorts being opened and slid off. A leg between her thighs, pressing close.

"Open your eyes," a voice told her, and she obeyed to find both of them standing, both naked now. Walking backwards, Sara pulled her toward the bed. "Feels good, doesn't it?" she said as she pushed Beth down and slid fingers inside of her.

"Yes…" Beth moaned.

"I have no fucking clue how to do this, but I figure we'll just do whatever feels good. Sound like a plan?"

"Oh yes," Beth said again, as she felt a tongue flicking against her clit. Her thighs fell further apart of their own volition. "Oh, yesss…"

It was illicit, and naughty, and it felt so damn good. She didn't care about anything except prolonging the pleasure. Hands caressed her thighs, a comforting counterpart to the shivers of pleasure the mouth on her was creating.

All too soon it stopped, but she reminded herself that it wasn't polite just to receive. She pushed Sara's legs apart and settled into as comfortable position as she could, tongue tentatively coming out to sample the folds of skin. Sara cried, and the sound pleased Beth so she did it again, this time sliding her tongue along the inside of Sara's body, paying special attention to the pleasure spot she knew would most enjoy the attentions. Unused to the unusual task, she couldn't keep it up for long, didn't want Sara to orgasm just yet anyway. Stopping, she moved up her body to enfold her in a full body embrace again.

Sara pressed her body close, and they kissed again. Bodies writhed together on the bed, tongues stroking and caressing. Beth reached down, cupped Sara's butt and pressed her closer into her leg, letting her take her pleasure however she could. She pushed her leg into Sara at the same time, and the girl cried out.

It was a weird thing, hearing a female voice crying out as you were giving her sexual pleasure, but not an unpleasant one. She found making _anyone_ feel good was rewarding.

"Let's put on a good show," Sara panted, reminding Beth for the first time in long minutes of their voyeur. The fact that they weren't alone. He was there, watching. Turned on and probably masturbating. The rude reminder should have doused her ardor like a bucket of ice water.

Instead, it touched that dark, secret place inside her where her fantasies lived. Enflaming the passion, making her movements against Sara even more frantic and desperate. How lucky was she? Not everyone was fortunate enough to experience a fantasy actually come to life in a safe, nurturing environment.

Sara was pretty; she was sweet and nice, and her body was hot where they touched. Beth slid her fingers inside, fucking her with them. Trying to make it as good for her as possible. Then they managed to find a rhythm, moving to the beat of the music, Beth's legs closing on Sara's thigh as her left leg pushed between the other girl's.

Unexpectedly she felt the irresistible tug of her orgasm, closer than she'd realized. "No…" she whispered, not wanting the exquisite torture to be over yet, but pressing closer to Sara, as close as she could get. Their movements became even more frantic as they strove for that one perfect peak of pleasure. Sara cried out as she came, and Beth rubbed herself hard and fast so she would not be left behind. The world turned inside out, and she came with a quiet yell.

Sweat cooling on bodies as the air from the a/c whispered over skin. Clink of ice in a glass. The slightly odd taste of female spunk in her mouth that had her longing for her abandoned glass of J. D. on the dresser. Definitely the smell of sex in the air, and if she wasn't mistaken it wasn't all female. She had no desire to add sight to the mix just yet, so she kept her eyes on the tangle of red hair so close to her face that it was out of focus. What must it be like for a vampire? The constant sense assault?

If she'd come here for insights, maybe she'd learned even more than she could have imagined. For once, the lesson was pleasurable and not painful. She smiled to herself.

"I saved you some hot water," Sara told her; her way of suggesting it was time for a shower.

Beth silently rose, collected her discarded clothing and slipped into the bathroom, keeping her eyes only on her tasks. She lingered over her shower, careful to make sure she was squeaky clean. To her delight there was also a new toothbrush, toothpaste, and a bottle of mouthwash on the sink waiting for her.

When she finally came out, dressed again as if nothing had happened, Sara was wearing a robe and Shane was gone. All designed to put Beth more at ease in the aftermath. In that moment she loved them both fiercely.

Sara smiled at her openly. "Ready to go?"

Beth nodded, smiling back. She brushed a lock of Sara's hair back from her face. "That was beautiful. Thank you."

"Thank _you_," and Sara was grinning at her. Her lack of embarrassment was contagious, and Beth was glad.

Sara walked her the short distance to the door. Impulsively, Beth leaned over and gave her one last, tender kiss goodbye.

The door closed behind her. Beth walked out to her car, her step light, humming along to the music playing in her head.

_Life is just a fantasy…_

**The end**


	5. No Disguise

**A/N**: As usual: slash, adult material. Male/male explicit sex. Don't like, don't read. This chapter is another that fits into the novel "Complications." It comes after chapter 11; Josef has found out that Shane's girlfriend Sara is actually Sarah Whitley's great niece, that Shane isn't really his vamp "brother" -- he's his sire, and had a wee bit of a breakdown.

**Summary**: Is it the calm in the eye of the storm, or is it the storm?

.

**No Disguise**

.

_What if it's true_

_What my heart says_

_What'll I do_

_What if this feeling becomes hard to part with?_

--Jackson Browne, "Call It a Loan"

.

It would be dawn soon, almost time to retire to the freezer. Josef had been sitting in the dark in his wrecked study for a long time, not actually making an effort to think, just letting his mind drift. A lot of that he just spent staring into space. It was… calming though, this sitting and not thinking.

He didn't want to think about Sarah, or Sara, or Shane, or even Mick and Beth. Normally he was the one with all the secrets, not the one who got slammed with several of them in one night. He needed to regroup, regain his footing. Who wouldn't, after finding out that what you thought to be true about of very foundation of who you were was a lie – after four hundred years? Or, had the truth been somewhere in the recesses of his mind, of his heart all along? Is that where all the confusion came from, the uncertainty that Josef loathed? Despite it all, in this moment he felt an odd peace. It was a rare occurrence, and he wanted to savor it for just a little while, knowing it would be short lived.

The air displacement he could feel and barest whisper of sound was the only thing announcing his visitor. Even over the music playing low in the background, it was loud and clear to him; he could almost believe he felt it on a molecular level. Unaffected by that? Never.

Josef couldn't help but smile. "You can't sneak up on me, you idiot."

Shane appeared behind his chair, mouth close to an ear. "Not trying to." He put his arms around Josef from behind affectionately. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

"At the moment." The moment would do.

"If you wanna talk…"

"Now, no."

Josef leaned his head back onto Shane's shoulder. They stayed that way in companionable silence for awhile as the minutes of eternity ticked by on his Rolex. Truth be told, he pitied humans. Time could be sweet when you knew it wasn't slipping through your fingers like sand. He could almost imagine it didn't exist at all. The eternal _now_. A place Shane was always pimping.

"It's been a rough night," Shane offered finally.

"I guess I'm starting to see how Mick feels – he's had a lot of shocks over the past several months."

"Does that mean you aren't pissed at him anymore?" Shane teased.

"I'm not pissed at anybody right now," he said emphasizing the anybody.

"I'm glad." Shane slid hands over his chest, eliciting just a hint of a shiver. "That tape you're listening to," he began, finally commenting on the music. "It's my band."

"It _is_?!" Josef exclaimed in a shocked tone.

"Why are you listening to me?"

Shane was no doubt expecting something snarky. Instead, Josef covered one of the hands on his chest with his own, and didn't answer at all. It was, ironically, over his heart. _Do you know you give your soul away in your voice when you sing?_ But he wouldn't ever tell Shane that; the man might never sing another word. And the world would lose something very special.

"I'm glad you don't hate me."

"I never hated you. " He knew he'd surprised Shane with his honesty.

"Yeah but I gave you a pretty good reason to."

"Funny," Josef mused. "You might have actually done the opposite." He was surprised himself.

Like the inevitability of one second moving into the next, the hands eventually moved lower, one of them rubbing over his crotch. He closed his eyes as the arousal grew, pressing the hand into him harder to signal his desire to continue.

Shane knelt at the front of the chair, opening Josef's pants and taking the growing erection into his mouth. Josef balled his fists to keep from grabbing the head that was working him so expertly.

Just when he thought Shane was going to get him off that way, he stood and removed his pants. A slow grin spread over Josef's face. He wasn't quite sure why it was hotter to do it only partially undressed than totally naked, but he enjoyed the picture. Himself completely dressed except for his dick waving in the air; Shane wearing just a white tank top and a hard on.

Shane straddled his lap, taking both their erections in one fist and stroking. Josef's hands slid under his ass, squeezing, and pushed a finger into him, feeling a slickness making the way easy. He'd come prepared.

Josef closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the pleasure. The restlessness grew with each stroke though, the disquiet running through him although he tried to banish it, and still wasn't sure where it was coming from.

He opened his eyes and they met Shane's. The other man could obviously read the change in them. The hand stilled its movements.

"Not now," Shane whispered pleadingly.

"It's an inconvenient time for you?" Josef asked archly. "I wouldn't want to ruin your plans."

"You won't even give an inch, will you? "

"What exactly do you want?" Josef asked curiously.

"Right now? To get fucked. You had your turn."

"Been awhile?" Josef asked knowingly, slipping the finger into his ass again. "Nothing like a good, hard, male fuck, is there?" He pushed deeper, stroking the prostate, watching Shane's face contort in reaction.

"Why—" he paused to catch the breath that the intimate touch had chased. "Why are you being so difficult lately? I mean you always are, but more than usual."

What _was_ wrong with him, lately? "You don't want to know," Josef admitted, positioning his cock at the entrance to Shane's body and guiding him down. "I want things I can't have."

They both groaned at the contact, and there was a minute of adjustment before either could speak again.

"You want _everything_," Shane declared.

"I want you," Josef said and sank fangs into the other vamp's neck.

"Fuck!" Shane yelled from reaction to the pain/pleasure and the words.

"You want to hear it, fine, _hear_ it."

Shane shook his head in denial, locked into the pleasure still. "You don't know what you want, not really."

"Don't patronize me," Josef snarled warningly. It was freaky how quickly their relationship could go from calm and affectionate back to battle again.

"I thought maybe this time we could just enjoy…"

"We don't always get what we want, do we?" Josef pressed, even as his hand wrapped around Shane's erection and began stroking.

Shane, who always tried to back down and be consolatory with Josef, threw down the gauntlet. Maybe it was guilt that had driven him after all? And the hurtful words they'd so carefully avoided till now where no longer being denied their due. The venom spewed forth from both sides, unchecked. Truth, poison or freedom? "You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?"

"By whose definition is it well enough?"

Shane shook his head. "You manipulate everyone. You say you love me, but you can't even be real and—"

"Real?" Josef spat. "You don't want that. You play your games too, make sure I don't say anything you don't want to hear."

Shane separated his body from Josef's and stood. "I just wanted to share a close moment and you—shit, why the hell should I want to _be_ with you? You're an obnoxious, selfish, manipulating prick! You know what? Sara accepts and loves me for who I am – she doesn't get off on torturing me for who I _can't be_!"

"Fine. Go get her to fuck you then." Josef's foot connected with Shane's chest, sending him flying across the room.

Less than the blink of an eye later, Josef was on the floor with Shane's body holding him down. He grabbed Josef's face in his hands and held tight. "You want honesty so much but you can't give it. Fine. You already know. I've never pretended otherwise. I love you – you are one of only two people in the entire fucking universe I've loved like this in over 900 years. I would protect you and die for you. You're under my skin and in my blood. I want to be close to you, I _don't_ want us to fight, I love the sex. I need you, I do, you know there are things I can only come to you with, things only you can make me feel…"

"But?" Josef pushed.

"But I will never be _in_ love with you. You know that, you've always known that. I can't change it."

"And now I have to share you." The quite words echoed in the room. _For the first time in four hundred years _was unspoken but heard.

"Oh christ, Jay-Jay..." Shane dropped his head down, resting it against Josef's in the stark aftermath of words that never wanted to be said out loud yet demanded to be. One, not wanting to cause pain, the other knowing the words being spoken would destroy any spell of pretense.

"We go whole decades without even seeing each other sometimes," Shane pointed out.

"Maybe I'm…regretting…certain things."

"Regrets don't do anyone any good. We can't change the past. Just give it a chance," Shane implored. "Maybe it can be better."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Shane whispered against the skin of his cheek.

"That I wasn't different, that I was too obnoxious for you to—"

"No!" Shane cut him off in an anguished voice. "No, no, no, no. It wasn't that. It's not you. It's who I am. I can't change that. It's just me. Sarah Whitely was in love with you. She was willing to give up everything, her family, her life, to be with you. Because you are worth it."

"Dumb move on her part," Josef managed.

Shane slapped him lightly on the cheek. "I think she made a great choice, and is a lucky woman. And that story's not over yet. Trust me."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Josef managed to joke, knowing it wasn't at all amusing. Catharsis? He wasn't sure yet. He felt slightly numb and definitely drained. And when you're drained you need to recharge. What other choice was there? He curled a hand around the back of Shane's head to pull him in for a kiss.

When the kiss was over, Shane regarded him with a wry expression. "You still want to, ah…"

Josef smiled and jumped to his feet. He extended his hand to help Shane up, for the contact rather than actual help. Then he led him through the darkened, quiet house into the master suite.

_Oh, if I'd only known_

_What your heart cost_

_Can we call it a loan?_

_And a debt that I owe, on a bet that I lost?_

When the door was closed behind them, their arms wrapped around each other and their mouth's met. The kisses felt more like comfort than anything else, although the fire was still there, banked, waiting to be fed again.

When they broke apart, Shane reached to take off his tank top. Josef stopped him. "Keep it on." He backed Shane up to the bed and gently pushed him down. Then he pulled his belt out of his pants and tossed it aside, kicking off his shoes at the same time.

"I definitely like seeing those stuffy business clothes coming off," Shane told him, his eyes saying he was enjoying the simple show.

"Stuffy?" Josef raised an eyebrow at him. "One shirt cost more than your whole wardrobe."

Shane shrugged, making a circling motion with his finger, signaling him to continue disrobing.

"Don't think you're in charge here," he told Shane with an impish grin, but complied with the request. He unbuttoned his shirt but kept it on. The pants and underwear came off together. When he was naked, he casually strolled over to the nightstand, aware of the eyes on him the whole way. He grabbed the tube of lube from the drawer and coated his cock with a generous amount, drawing out the task purposely.

When Shane's tongue slipped out to lick his bottom lip, his cock jumped in his hand in reaction. Tossing the tube in the direction of the open drawer, he crawled onto the bed in between Shane's legs. He spread them apart and pushed them to his chest, then sank slowing into the waiting body, scrutinizing every emotion on Shane's face with an avid concentration.

Maybe it was because of the emotional bloodletting, or he'd dropped some barrier along the way that he wasn't quite aware of. Anger and pain had always bounced back and forth between them, maybe now honesty was. Whatever the reason, staring at Shane's face he suddenly felt a wave of cold clarity washing over him, and it was like a blind man given sight. A thought came to him, startling like a shot from a silver bullet.

"I have a question for you," he found himself saying.

Shane's expression said, _now_? Bemused and passion-glazed.

"How many men have you let…" he let his body finish the thought, slamming into him hard enough to force a cry from his lips.

Shane's expression answered before his voice. "Only you."

It looked like _his_ revelations weren't over yet, either. And he realized Shane's motives tonight weren't just his own pleasure. It was a gesture, an offering. It was for Josef.

"In the world I came from just the _suggestion_ and you were legally justified to commit murder," Shane commented.

"I love the sexual revolution," Josef declared, reaching down to kiss him. They both groaned into the kiss as their tongue's tangled, and Josef rocked into the body under him. He sucked on Shane's tongue, steadfastly resisting all the other man's attempts to get him to speed up the pace and pushing his hand away every time he attempted to grab his own erection.

"You're still torturing me," Shane complained of the slow fucking when he'd managed to tear his mouth away from Josef's. "Wanna come now, god please let me come now…"

Finally taking pity, Josef picked up the pace, pounding into him. His fingers curled around Shane's cock to help bring him off.

"Oh god, yes. Deeper. Deeper," he prodded.

Josef complied, changing the angle to better nail Shane's prostate with every powerful thrust. He watched Shane in the throes of passion; had he ever really _watched_ him before? There was no one else Shane shared this part of himself with, no one he could or would.

"I understand now…" Josef whispered, as the sheer depth of it hit him. Could he love this man, this beautiful man who gave everything he was capable of giving? He was the only man who would ever touch Shane like this; no one else in the universe could give him that. He also understood, now, why Shane didn't want to be his sire. He needed Josef. It wasn't just Josef who needed a brother, a friend, a lover – an equal.

_Oh my god…_ he thought to himself. It would have changed the whole dynamic. He was lucky to have this relationship with Shane, to have him in his life, to have known him and been allowed so close to him.

Drunk from the power it gave him knowing this, not a manipulative power as was his typical, but a feeling of confidence and pride, he gave Shane what he needed to send him over the edge. Without warning, he stopped all movement.

"What the---" Shane nearly screamed, grabbing for him to try and pull him closer.

Baring his fangs, Josef complied, pushing closer, impossibly close considering their position, and sank his teeth into the side of Shane's neck. Shane cried out his release, and the muscles that tightened almost painfully on Josef's cock and the scent and taste of his sire's blood was all he needed to follow.

"I'm sorry," Josef whispered as the pleasure died down and he could talk again.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Shane told him.

Josef winced. "For the way I've treated you sometimes, yeah I do. I understand more now."

Shane didn't look like he knew quite what to say to that. "I'm glad," was what he settled on.

"Maybe you were right," Josef said later, after he'd slipped from Shane's body and they'd recuperated some.

"About what?" Shane asked, running his hand through Josef's short hair.

"Maybe it can be better."

There was a stunned pause from his bedmate. "I'd like that," Shane finally answered.

"So would I," Josef admitted.

He's spent so much time wanting things he couldn't have that he'd neglected to appreciate what he had.

And that was a lot.

.

_In the evening when you see my eyes_

_Looking back at you, no disguise_

_I'm not sure who you think you'll see_

_I'm just hoping you'll still know that it's me…_

_._

**End No Disguise**


	6. Never Enough

**A/N**: Just in case you haven't figured it out by now: Warning: Slash. Explicit male/male. If you don't want to read it, just hit the back button now. For the rest...

The chapter is a "missing scene" that takes place during the chapter of _Prophesy_ titled: "Frozen Tears." A quick recap to refresh your memory or set up the scene for those who are only reading the slash: At the end of "Complications" Josef had a disturbing vision of the future -- where he saw Shane's death. This story is his reaction to that.

.

**Never Enough**

.

_Take me down slow and easy_

_Make love to me slow and easy_

_I know that hard luck and trouble is coming my way_

_So rock me till I'm burned to the bone_

_--Slow and Easy, Whitesnake_

_._

Irrational actions, giving in to impulsive decisions based on emotions and sentimentality. These things are more up Mick's alley than mine; nobody would accuse Josef Konstantin of letting his emotions rule him. I make all my decisions by computing all the angles to the nth degree, calculating risks and probabilities and outcomes until I'm satisfied that I will win. I always win.

Lately, I've been disturbingly not myself. I'm not usually taken by surprise, as I've already ran all possible scenarios through my head beforehand. Yet, recently, I've been blindsided by an unexpected amount of surprises. It's disconcerting, but at the same time oddly liberating.

Everyone sees only what I want them to see. Even Mick, my closest friend, gets the carefully controlled version. Shane… Shane is the only person in the world still alive who's seen me at my worst, exposed. That's the way it is when you're first turned…. He sees a side of me no one else ever has. Business associates respect my ruthlessness while ruing my success. Enemies quake in fear at my very name. Freshies swoon when I come near, and even friends are just a bit in awe of my presence. You love me or you hate me, but you know I'm a force to be reckoned with. Shane? Shane pinches my cheek and tells me I'm cute. To my employees I'm Mr. Kostan the demanding but fair boss, and to my friends I'm Josef the one they turn to when they need something but aren't sure they can entirely trust. To Shane I'm just Jay-Jay. And I both love and hate him for it.

Maybe I'm afraid if anything happened to Shane, Jay-Jay would die forever too.

XXX

The dream – premonition – vision -- whatever it was, really puts me on edge. As I head to my study to make the irrational phone call, images insist on parading through my mind, replaying again and again, and I can't seem to find the stop button. Sara coming to my doorstep, telling me Shane is dead. Killed, by a group called NBL. The name means nothing to me and the date 2299, is still in the distant future. None of that matters beside the overpowering urge to hear his voice and make sure he's okay.

Once at my desk, I freeze. I stare at the phone. The phone stares back. If I call he'll know something is wrong the minute he hears my voice. I need a plan, an excuse, but my mind is infuriatingly blank. In frustration I rip the phone off the desk and throw it across the room. Somehow the rest of the items on my desk follow. When I'm done my mind is clearer, and I seize upon an idea like a gambler to a tip about a 'sure thing.' Without giving myself time to work _any_ angles, I'm grabbing my cell phone and heading for the door. I'm barking orders as I leave, telling my pilot to be ready to take off by the time I get to the airport. Destination: Alaska.

Details, plans, these I can do automatically, no thought involved. I need to rent a car, get directions from the airport to Resurrection… These things will keep my mind occupied, a mixed blessing since it also allows my crazy actions to proceed unfettered with reason. Who needs common sense when you're having a breakdown, anyway?

XXX

The minute the door is opened I'm kissing him demandingly, desperately. I kick the door closed with my foot and propel us against the wall, pressing into him as I devour his mouth. He's surprised, stunned, but then Shane always was quick on the uptake, and he's already pushing his body back against mine. It's always been this way; the stronger the emotions, negative or positive, the hotter the desire.

"Expecting anyone?" I ask between kisses, needing to make sure we won't be interrupted. I know he's alone, I did have the presence of mind to check first.

He shakes his head. "I wasn't expecting _you_," he quips.

"Bedroom," I say; I've never been here before. He holds out his arm, pointing down a hallway to the right. I follow the finger, dragging him with me, already working to remove clothing.

"Jesus, Jay-Jay," he half laughs as we fumble/stumble toward the room.

I pay no mind to anything, I just need to touch him, feel him, replace the images of the dream with the solid, undead reality of him.

It's not typically on our menu, but today I feel like worshipping at the temple of Shane. I drop to my knees and take his cock into my mouth without preliminary. He groans as I swirl my tongue around the tip, teasing, sucking a bit then back to the teasing. I glance up to see his eyes are closed, hands clenched at his sides.

"Look at me," I command. I will make sure he knows it's me.

Blue eyes stare down at me. Love those eyes, the passion in them reminds me that I'm not alone in this. He may know the hidden parts of me, but I know every last one of his buttons and how to push them. I'm an expert. The knowledge is bittersweet, since he resents me for it as much as I do him. We love each other and hate each other, and everything in between. He's my brother and my sire and my lover. How can his Sara understand this?? I don't even understand this.

Except for the vampire part. That's easy to understand. When you make love with a human you always have to hold back, keep control or you can damage them. With another vamp, you can let yourself go. Nothing held back. Nothing physical, that is.

I'm hard, aching. I want to feel our bodies flesh on flesh, so I release him and rise. He immediately pulls me into him and we're kissing again, tongues meeting and duelling in familiar territory. I realized with a chill that it feels absurdly like _home_. I need to distract myself. Clothes are shed, ripped, and I don't even care enough to make a comment about the cost this time.

I need to feel more. I tumble us down onto the bed. In a bed again. We must be getting boring in our old age… but this is what I need to banish the vision, to reassure myself that he's still here, that I can still see him and talk to him and touch him. Maybe the vision was my punishment, or warning, a second chance to atone for the past. I don't know, it's all a jumble in my head. My balls are aching and so are my fangs. I want to obliterate the vision, wash it away with waves of hot, hard passion.

Stupid humans and their worries about mortality. We're supposed to be immortal. Yet one thousand years or another two hundred and ninety nine, it's not enough. It will never be enough, and isn't that the secret story of my undead life? Nothing is ever enough.

"You better have lube," I growl at him.

Even as he fumbles in the nightstand, I'm grabbing it out of his hand. It's hand lotion, probably hers, and I'd laugh if I wasn't afraid it wouldn't come out as something very different. I spread it over his erection, using long strokes from base to tip and back again. He hisses at the contact, lost in the passion in that way he gets, eyes slitted and gleaming pale. I feel mine vamping in sympathetic reaction. This has got to be a first, twice in one month. Josef Konstantin, king of once-a-decade booty calls. But right now it's the only way I can prove to myself that I haven't lost him.

He's with me now, my urgency finally bleeding into him the way I want. He grabs a pillow and shoves it under me to improve the angle, then pushes inside me. I just want to feel. The pleasure is pain, but it doesn't matter. I'm a vampire, I can handle the spikes of pleasure/pain that shoot up through my body. It's just another reminder of reality, of _now_. Not tomorrow or yesterday, us this moment. I reach around his neck and pull his head down, nipping at his lips with sharp fangs, drawing blood that is like heady perfume and a touch of ambrosia to my senses.

God, he's good at this, good at fucking. Shane can charm a rattlesnake out of its rattles—without even trying, and that's the really annoying part. I notice some music is playing in the background, rock and roll of course… I don't suppose he even _owns_ a Beethoven album… and he's fucking me in time with the beat. Take me down slow and easy… But it's not slow or easy and that's okay because that's not how I want it. He's nailing my prostate now and I can't help squeezing around him, pulling him deeper. I feel myself begin to let go, tell him to fuck me, over and over. And he complies, that's not one request he's ever been able to deny. I spare a moment to wonder why I ever try to hide from him, he _knows_ me, it's a futile game I play, perhaps out of habit or superstition.

In the next instant the reason comes slamming into me. I feel like I'm flying apart and it terrifies me, but I can't hold the pieces in. I'm begging. "Please, please, please…" Who am I? Just for this one moment, I'm not Josef Kostan, businessman, friend, vampire. I can remember, just for a moment what it's like to be none of those people. Just me. I think maybe I want to change… but I don't know how.

He offers me his wrist, and I immediately sink my fangs in. It's warm, he's fed recently. Human mixed with a vampire chaser. I feel the rich taste on my tongue, sliding silkily down my throat. It's different now that I know the truth, but I've never told him that. Now it's the feel of my sire's blood coursing through me. It makes me feel greedy, I want more. I suck harder and growl at him to encourage him to move faster. He does, and as his fangs pierce my flesh and he comes, I can let go too.

XXX

Later, I find out why he's alone tonight. Sara's mother has been killed in a car accident, and she's with her visiting relatives. The funeral is tomorrow. He invites me. I have a moment of indecision, I shouldn't have come, shouldn't be here, but he calls me an idiot and points out that my pilot will be pissed off if I want to turn right around and return to L.A.

So I stay, in the room he calls his 'sanctuary' and _sleep_ in a real bed, with another person, for the first time in decades. With the specially designed cooling system, it's not as frigid as my freezer, but it's acceptable. More than acceptable. I'm sleeping next to someone else. Next to Shane.

That alone was worth the trip.

He's not stupid, he knows something's wrong. I'm not myself. Just the fact that I showed up here the way I did is cause to suspect my sanity. But somehow I manage to put him off, distract him without telling him the truth. This is my secret. I don't want to hear his rationale about 'whatever will be, will be,' or 'even vampires don't live forever.' That's simply not acceptable. I _will_ alter the vision, even if it should mean giving my life for his.

And Josef Konstantin always gets what he wants.

**end Never Enough**


	7. Forces of Flight

**A/N**: Non-explicit slash content. Don't like, don't read. Josef/OMC. This slash piece is a companion to "Saving Grace" From Prophesy. Recap: While out on patrol, Shane disappeared without a trace. Mick was called to help find him. This story tells what Josef was doing when Shane disappeared, while on vacation in San Diego.

.

**FORCES OF FLIGHT**

.

_Kevin_ let his pen move across the paper of the notebook in front of him, one ear cataloging the engines of the planes outside on the airfield, the other on the droning _inside_. It all merged into one long buzz, as he doodled stock market projections in the margins. As a new hobby, it didn't have much going for it yet that he could see, unless one was fond of bordem.

"Mr. Lundy," the teacher, er, flight instructor Eric Hastings called his name, and he looked up into an inquiring pair of deep brown eyes. The teacher wasn't half bad, though. "Are we keeping you up?" he asked pointedly.

There were murmurs of amusement from the other occupants of the class. And didn't it feel bizarre for a 400 year old vampire to be in _school_– they didn't even have classes like this when he was a kid. Kevin quirked a slight smile. "No, actually, you're putting me to sleep." Obviously the job of class clown would have fallen to him.

"I'm sorry I'm boring, I don't mean to be. It is, after all, an important lesson. Could mean the difference between life and death up there. So tell me, how can I make it more interesting?"

Kevin was a bit nonplussed, not expecting the question. The first thing that came to mind – take off all your clothes and teach the class in the nude--definitely wasn't something he could repeat out loud. "Uh, I guess it's not possible. On the ground, anyway. I'm assuming it gets more interesting up there."

Eric looked at him for a moment. "Interesting. That reminds me, we forgot to do introductions. I always like to go around the room and have everyone tell us a little about themselves and why they wanted to learn to fly."

"You want to start with me, I bet," Kevin deduced.

"Well, since you offered, sure. Go right ahead."

"Okay. I'm here because my friends told me I needed to get a hobby. Flying was suggested, so here I am."

"You're enthusiasm is overwhelming," Eric told him. "So why did they want you to get a hobby?"

"They didn't like my former one."

"Which was?"

His grin widened. "Torturing them."

"I'm thinking it's a pity you didn't take up stand up comedy instead. There's a comedy club with an ametaur night right down the street," was Eric's comeback.

Sparring was something he enjoyed immensely, and he was pleasantly surprised to find the opportunity here. Maybe it wouldn't be quite so boring after all. "Sorry, I'm not _ametaur_ at _anything_ I do."

"Prove it, Eric demanded. "Explain lift and thrust."

"Well, if you're talking about flying in a plane, they are two of the four forces of flight. As a plane climbs, its weight is equal to a portion of the lift force and a portion of the thrust force." Kevin was surprised that part of his brain had actually been paying enough attention to know the answer. By the look on Eric's face, he was too. "Now if you're talking about flying _without_ a plane…"

"I…think we get the picture, thanks," Eric muttered hastily amid twittering from the class.

Kevin decided he wouldn't mind giving teacher a private demonstration. It was no wonder he'd been able to remember so easily: Lift, force, thrust, drag, weight… it was all about sex. As Eric went on to explain Newton's theories to the class, Kevin thought: who knew Newton had such a dirty mind! Between that and the fact that the instructor wasn't hard on the eyes, it might prove to be an enjoyable hobby after all.

XXX

Luckily for Kevin's short attention span, the ground school portion of the cirucculm consisted of only one class. The following day he was already scheduled for his first flight. It was a perfect day for it, well, if you weren't a vampire. Clear blue skies with barely a cloud to mar the perfection.

Speaking of, Eric Hastings had little to mar his perfection either. He looked more like a lifeguard than a pilot. Sandy hair came to just below his ears. A nice body obviously kept in shape. It made learning to fly more interesting, and Kevin was definitely in need of a distraction in his life right now.

In the cockpit of the plane, he found himself discomfited, and that wasn't a feeling he was used to. It really was exciting, in its own pedestrian way. "This is a lot smaller than the planes I usually fly in," he remarked as he looked around the small enclosed space of the Cessna." _Really_ small…

"No, it's certainly not like the Lear you own, is it Mr. Kostan?"

It wasn't easy to surprise Josef; Eric had just stunned him. "How do you know who I am?"

"A couple of years ago, before I became an instructor here, I put in an application to be a pilot at Kostan Industries."

"I don't remember you." And he definitely would have.

"I never even got to the interview point," Eric admitted wryly. "But I always do a lot of research on the companies I'm trying to get a job with."

"I'm impressed," he admitted. This hobby was _definitely_ becoming more interesting than he thought it would be.

"And I'll be impressed if you get through the pre-flight check without missing anything," Eric told him with a challenging grin.

Once the check was complete, it was time to move on to the flying of the plane. As Eric began instructing Josef on takeoff, he interrupted.

"What about the pilot's prayer?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah I've heard of it," Eric responded questioningly.

"I've heard it's a custom that before takeoff, pilots are supposed to hold hands and recite the pilot's prayer," Josef explained with a slight smile.

"That's…interesting. Do you know the prayer?"

"I think I can recall it," Josef answered, holding out his hand. He'd forgotten how much fun it was to flirt with strangers. He took Eric's hand in his, feeling the pulse beat gently against the skin – but definitely speeding up now. He gave the man a sideways glance and began. "Bless this aircraft, make it fly straight and true through the perils of our journey. Amen."

"Well, uh, I'm expecting this to be just a routine flight, no perils here," Eric chucked. "So where did you learn that?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised at the things I know," Josef answered suggestively as he taxied the plane down the runway.

Josef found Eric to be a good hands-on instructor…and wasn't that a bit of a distracting thought. Hands on. The instructions were kept simple and easy for his new student while tailoring them to the individual student's pace. This lesson consisted of learning how to taxi down the runway, takeoff, and fly at a proper level. After a brief time in the air, Josef was guided in descending and landing the plane.

When the plane was at a stop and the lesson complete, Eric turned to look at Josef. "Well, what do you think of your first flight?"

"It was…amazing," he said, truly stunned at how exhilarating he'd found it to be up in the air, the plane's controls under his own hands. He hadn't expected that.

"I'm glad you liked it." Eric looked away a moment. "You're my last lesson for the day. I'm not usually, uh – do you want to grab a drink?" he finally blurted.

Josef smiled, finding the man's hesitance endearing. "I happen to be very thirsty."

XXX

The bar was dark and cool, a nice change from the outdoors. Josef took off his sunglasses as they entered and found a free table. While they waited for the waitress to bring their drinks, they engaged in small talk about flying, discussing the day's lesson as well.

"I get up to L.A. every once in awhile," Eric began after they'd gotten their drinks. He paused a moment, and Josef sensed another careful moment of deliberation from the other man. Finally he continued. "There's a club up there, I was wondering if you've heard of it. Crimson."

Josef was glad he wasn't taking a drink or he might have mortified himself and did a spit take, so totally unprepared for that question was he. Oh, things were definitely getting interesting… "That's a private club," he said. "Members only."

"I know."

For Eric to know of Crimson meant only one thing: he knew about the existence of vampires. Crimson was an invitation only club catering to vamps and the humans who were into them. It was a decadent place where a bit of everything went on, but a large percentage of the humans who frequented the establishment were gay males. The day and age being what it was, there were many gay men who had a preference for being with vamps. There was less risk and more fun. No chance of getting any diseases, and no condoms needed. If there were other types of risks…well, that just made it more of a turn on.

"And what made you ask _me_ that question?" Josef queried mildly.

Eric almost blushed. Always an attractive trait to a vamp. "To be honest, I often let the name of the club slip when I meet someone…attractive, on the off chance. But my vampdar is pretty good, too," he added.

"Are you positive?" Sometimes men with HIV sought out vamps because they could have sex without any worries about infecting their partner.

"No I'm clean. Wanna stay that way."

"Do you have anywhere else to be today?"

"No, my schedule is free."

"Good."

XXX

It had been a long time since Josef had been with a man, except for He Who's Name Shall Not Be Thought. There was always so much female companionship available, the house full of freshies, it kept him quite happily busy. Once in awhile if he was in the mood for a male fuck he would spend an evening at Crimson.

The no strings aspect was such a refreshing treat after the complications of late.

"What would you like the vampire to do?" Josef asked magnanioumsouly. A lot of men seemed to have very specific preferences as to what they were looking for in their vampire encounter.

"I want you to fuck me."

"Of course you do."

Josef reached into Eric's open fly, wrapping a hand around the erection that was begging for attention. He backed Eric against the wall, letting his fangs just graze the inviting neck in preview of what was to come. He felt the body in his arms shiver and grinned. He was in charge, and he reveled in it. He gave Eric everything he wanted and more, took him and wrung the pleasure out of them until he was exhausted, sated, and grateful.

Eric slowly recovered, finally turning over and rummaging around in the bedside drawer. "That was good, it's been so long." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "You don't mind, do you?" At Josef's negative gesture, he lit one up. "It's a quirk of mine, I guess. I only smoke after sex," he explained.

"I have no problem with vices," Josef said with a grin. "It's usually much more fun than virtue."

"You don't know what freedom it is to be able to do this," Eric told him, gesturing between them. "I hate using condoms, and the uncomfortable talk about testing, and safe sex."

"Thank God for vampires," Josef said with a cheeky grin.

"Amen."

XXX

For three days Josef took flying lessons, the sessions moved to evenings for his convenience, and kept Eric flying. It was one of those situations where you don't know how much you really do need the distraction until you're in the middle of it.

It would have been perfect, except that his no strings fling took a turn for the downside on the third night.

"So who's the guy?" Eric asked as they lounged in bed after an enthusiastic round.

Josef regarded Eric through narrowed eyes, wondering what could have possibly given him away to this stranger. "What makes you think there's a guy?"

"Your reaction to my question," Eric admitted. "There's always a guy, isn't there? After awhile you get to recognize the look, especially when you wear it yourself."

_Why would you think I'd care_, Josef thought, but clenched his teeth to keep from speaking it aloud even knowing if he kept silent it would invite further conversation.

Sure enough, Eric continued. "My last boyfriend… I really fell for him, hard. I wanted a commitment from him, and I pushed it. In the end, it broke us up. So then I decided, you know what? He's right. Never again will I make that mistake. I'm only in it for the fun now."

Commitment was overrated, fun was underrated… he wanted to say words like that, but stunned himself by what came out of his mouth instead. "It's a long story."

"I've got time if you want to tell it."

"I wouldn't even know where to start," Josef admitted.

"The beginning?" Eric suggested.

'In the beginning there was Shane.' Josef laughed at his own melodrama. "It doesn't matter. We've both got our own lives. And never the twain shall meet."

"Never say never. Hey, it's not like you don't have time, right? Especially if he's a vamp, too…"

Desperate for a distraction, Josef reached over and grabbed his jacket off the chair next to the bed, reaching in the pocket for his cell phone. He'd had it turned off most of the trip, to show his commitment to his vacation. _Can't even make a commitment to a cell phone_, he thought.

It rang as soon as he switched it on. It was Mick.

"I hope you don't need anything, because I'm still in San Diego," was his cheerful greeting.

"Shane's missing."

Josef sat up straight. "What?"

"No one's seen or heard from him in almost 24 hours. He didn't say anything to Sara, and there's no trace of him. Greg called me because he couldn't get a hold of you."

"He wouldn't just leave like that on his own, Mick. He wouldn't leave Sara." A sick worry was twining its way through his insides.

"I know."

"I'm on my way. Where are you?"

I'm at the airport. There aren't a whole hell of a lot of daily flights to Alaska and I just missed one, but I was hoping I could use your plane, if it's here."

There was a minute pause, and then Josef did something that spoke his faith and trust in Mick and his PI skills more than a shout from the rooftops. "It's there. The pilot will be there in minutes or he'll be fired. I'll get a commercial flight up as soon as I can."

Before he'd even hung up, Josef was off the bed and dressing.

"Is everything okay?"

"Something's come up, I have to go," he said shortly, his only goal now getting out of there and on his way.

"Is there anything I can do?" Eric asked.

"No," he said distractedly as he threw on his jacket. "I'll see you around, it's been fun." With that, he walked out of the house.

Once his feet hit the sidewalk, his reaction intensified. What if he'd changed the future all right, but for the worse? There was no question in his mind that something was wrong. Staying calm was taking enormous effort, which wasn't like him. Thoughts churning, he reached his car and jumped into the front seat, starting to call airlines to get a flight to Alaska.

XXX

"You've got to be kidding me!" Josef growled into his cell phone mencingly. "A flight from California to Fairbanks with a stop in _Salt Lake City_?! I've heard of milk runs, but that's ridiculous!" The news just kept getting worse. "What do you mean it's gonna take me eleven hours to get to Alaska? Are you out of yoru friggin' mind?!" he yelled, apoplectic. "Have you people looked at a map?!" He tried to surpress the desire to go down there and tear the idiot apart with his bare hands. "Forget it, I'll rent a private plane." Which would still take time to arrange.

"Dammit!" he yelled in frustration, punching the end call button violently.

"I'll take you," came a quiet voice.

Josef turned to see Eric there, squatting by the door. He'd heard the other man approach on some sublminal level of course, but had been too preoccupied to make note of it. Instead of answering he found himself just staring.

"You need to go to Fairbanks, Alaska, right? You won't get a direct flight, there aren't any because there wouldn't be enough passengers to make it profitable."

"You can take me?" he finally said, wincing inside at the hopeful and desperate tone to his voice.

"Let's go," Eric answered simply, rising and heading for the passenger side of the car.

Funny, Josef thought as they headed for the airstrip. Seemed he couldn't even have a simple fling these days without it getting complicated.

.

**End Forces of Flight**

.

**Note**: the details of what exactly happend to Shane are revealed in the chapter of "Prophesy" titled "Saving Grace."


	8. Saving Shane

**A/N**: As usual, explicit adult slash content. Male/Male. Don't like, don't read. Another "missing scene" from "Saving Grace" in Prophesy. This scene comes in between when Josef left for his little "walk" and the end where they're at The Last Resort and Shane is singing. For those not reading the main stories: Shane went missing while Josef was on vacation. Upon hearing about it, he flew up to Alaska where Shane lives. After Shane's safe return, Josef went off by himself to try and deal with all the emotions the incident caused.

.

**Saving Shane**

.

_Please take the demon from my head_

_Won't you please erase the memories of the ghosts who haunt my bed_

_Then you'll learn to understand _

_I'm gonna be the only man to ever touch your soul_

_I ain't never letting go…_

_--Bret Michaels, Devil Inside_

_._

Solitude. True solitude, the kind only offered by the Alaskan wilderness. No one around for miles, only the sound of his own footfalls for company. That and his private thoughts. It was a place where mortal man would not venture alone, at this time of night, on foot. It was perfection.

Josef's instincts told him to walk. So he did, throughout the night, with a purposeful step. The automatic process of putting one foot in front of the other became a type of meditation, allowed his mind to work on the issues at hand undistracted. He'd needed time to cool down and think, and he knew Sara needed private time with Shane. So he walked.

He thought long and hard and honest. Forced himself to be more brutally honest than he'd ever been with himself in four hundred years. Who else do you have to answer to, if not yourself? In the end, he had his answers. He understood where he'd made his mistakes; by not being truthful, hiding and keeping secrets. There was a price to pay for that, but there was nothing he could do to change the past. He could only make a choice now, for the present.

He finally returned to town just before dawn.

XXX

When Shane arrived at his office early the next morning, Josef was waiting for him. It wasn't yet light and the building was deserted save for them. Shane knew the moment he'd stepped out of his truck that the other vampire was there of course, possibly even sooner.

"Leave it off," Josef said as Shane reached for the light switch. Just that much and the anticipation was there, hovering in the air expectantly. Forget the lights, they had their own electricity.

The hand dropped. "Did you have a nice walk?" he inquired.

"The wind whispered the secrets of the universe to me," Josef said as he reached over and locked the door. He wasn't interested in getting a thrill out of possible exposure this time, not like when he'd paraded a mostly naked Shane through his house in L.A. that night, knowing anyone could have come upon them as they walked from study to bedroom. He'd already revealed quite enough this visit.

"Fly boy, huh?" Shane inquired with an arched brow, almost as if reading his mind.

Josef pounced. "You're jealous!" he accused, quietly pleased.

"Did you get a hold of some of Randy's shine?" Shane scoffed, turning away to remove his jacket.

"Eric told me," he said, looking for a reaction that would be so minuscule that no one else in the world would notice. Only when he had it did he add, "When I _called_ him before. He said the big scary vampire was giving him the evil eye."

"He seems like the nervous type to me." Shane hung his jacket on the hook by the door and moved away from Josef, toward the desk.

"You are," Josef continued, following him. "You know how I can tell? You aren't arguing with me. You're not really denying it, you're getting quiet. That's what you do when you don't want to admit the truth."

"Know me that well, huh?" Shane challenged, leaning against the desk, arms folded in front of him in casual challenge.

Instead of sparring with him, Josef stepped closer until there was almost no space between them. He reached out, laying just one finger on the folded arms. They dropped in surrender and Josef moved even closer, sliding his hands around into Shane's back pockets, enjoying the feel of their bodies pressed together.

"Why do you do these things to annoy me?" Shane complained.

"You don't _feel_ annoyed to me," he teased, beginning to nibble at an earlobe. He was so attuned to the other vamp that he heard it when his eyes slid closed.

"You're gonna be the death of me yet," came the half hearted complaint.

"No, never," Josef denied, shaking his head.

Shane's arms went around him, encouraging more contact.

Josef took his hands out of the pockets and starting unbuttoning the denim shirt unhurriedly, taking his time even by human standards. "While I was taking my walk I had an epiphany."

Shane started to snort a laugh, but it turned into a moan as a tongue swirled around his nipple. "Shit…" he breathed instead.

"I love how quick I can turn you on," Josef admitted, rubbing a hand over the prominent bulge in Shane's pants. "It's not a game," he assured, wanting to be clear. Life was a game he played without even thinking about it, but with this man he didn't want to anymore. It would probably be a challenge, but he did enjoy those.

Josef smiled at the hiss he caused when he unzipped Shane's jeans, wrapping a hand around the erection waiting for him. He stroked, using just a little pressure, just enough to be maddening. Maybe it wasn't exactly _life_ pulsing in his hand, but it was energy, an energy that was tangible, powerful, and created between them whenever they came together like this. It was impossible to resist. This habit they had of spontaneously combusting the moment they touched.

"I want to be honest with you," Josef continued, still stroking with one hand as he deftly undid his own belt and zipper. He saw Shane watching his hands, clearly thinking about what else those flexible hands could do. "I know what I have to do now."

"As long as it ends with both of us coming," Shane said as he covered Josef's hand with his own, guiding him to a firmer pressure. His free hand fumbled to get Josef's shirt off.

"Are you going to rip this one?"

"Do you want me to?" Shane countered.

"Fielder's choice," Josef said, ignoring the cry of protest when he released the cock in order to have both hands free so they could undress each other.

"Oh, am I the fielder?" Shane asked.

"Not this time, baby."

They tackled the clothing together in between kisses. One shirt was dropped on the desk, the other following suit. Shoes, pants and underwear were left where they fell.

"We work pretty good together, when we're motivated," Josef observed after they'd divested each other of the clothing. He grabbed a handful of ass, pulling their lower bodies together as the saliva coated fingers of one hand delved between possessively. He set up a rhythm with fingers and body undulating.

"Show me how motivated you are."

"I could take the Sherriff bent over his own desk in his office," Josef said in a conversational tone. "I think I like that idea."

"You better have lube."

Josef reached down to pull a tube from his pants pocket.

"Never leave home without it, huh?" Shane said, but there was an almost imperceptible edge underneath the joking. As if perhaps he was wondering where else that lube had been.

"It's brand new," Josef said, showing him the tamper proof tape around the top, thrilled that Shane was again showing signs of jealousy. "I stole it from a convenience store on my way back into town." He smothered Shane's laugh of disbelief in a kiss.

"You're telling me that the man who could buy the whole store shoplifted a tube of lube?" Shane asked when his mouth was temporarily free. "Why?"

_To make you laugh_. Josef shrugged. "Because I could."

Despite Josef's threat, they ended up on the big old battered couch.

"I'm going to need to search you for concealed weapons now, so spread 'em," Josef told him.

"My weapon's not concealed," Shane drawled, fisting it. He hooked one leg over the back of the couch and the other around Josef, opening his body.

Josef left Shane watch him stroke himself while lubing up, feeling his hand and Shane's eyes in equal measure. When his own touch became too much, he moved closer and guided himself into the waiting body. It was slow and generous, a meeting of bodies and souls.

"Take me there," Shane moaned, urging him closer.

Josef thrust deeper, nailing his prostate, marveling at his ability to unravel this man with a part of himself.

"Oh god, don't stop…."

Not to worry, he thought, but couldn't form coherent words to speak. He couldn't have stopped now if the entire town of Resurrection came walking in. And okay, that WAS a hot thought, despite it not being about showing off. Josef fucked Shane deeper, harder, watching Shane working his own erection in sync. The fire dept. could have been breaking down the door because the place was burning down – and considering the heat they generated that was a possibility – and nothing was going to stop the inevitable conclusion now.

Then he lost the ability of thought. All he could do was lean over and sink his fangs in Shane's shoulder as his orgasm washed over him. He barely even noticed Shane grabbing his arm and biting down as he too found release.

XXX

"Last time I was here, I was freaked out because I had a vision. I saw your death," Josef said a little while later, when they'd recovered enough to talk. He was kneeling on the floor, his head on Shane's chest. "Needless to say I didn't take it well when I heard you were missing, even though in the vision it happened years in the future."

"Oh Jay-Jay," Shane murmured, running fingers through his short hair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you'd make light of it," he admitted. "Give me some Que Sera Sera shit like you usually do." He raised his head, pinning the other vamp with a piercing look. "It wasn't a dream, you know we don't dream. And I wasn't drinking from any drugged freshies." His voice became low, intense, the kind of tone that made mortal men fear for their lives. "That is not acceptable, do you hear me? I'm going to tell you about it, and we're going to make sure it doesn't happen. _Together_."

Shane nodded once.

"You'd be a bastard if you shrugged this off and didn't care about our feelings or that you were leaving us behind," Josef continued, including Sara in his case for good measure.

"I think you underestimate my desire to stick around," Shane said after a thoughtful pause. "Recent events…" he trailed off, and then tried again. "I know. I have to be around for the people who care."

"You've always had someone who cares," Josef told him quietly.

"Yeah, well, it took me awhile to figure it out."

"Four hundred years?!" he said, mildly mocking.

"So I'm a bit dense and you're good at hiding."

Josef shifted until he was sitting on the floor, leaning back against Shane. He wrapped his arms around his knees. "I'm afraid to wake Sarah up because I don't want it to come between us when we're just starting to…figure things out," he confessed.

"Wow." Shane was clearly stunned at the level of open honesty. He silently processed the confession, fingers playing absently with the spiked ends of Josef's hair disheveled in their debauchery. "That'll only happen if we let it," he finally said. It wasn't necessarily a comforting thought, based on past behavior patterns.

"I'm committed to _not_ letting it happen." Josef grabbed the hand that now rested on the edge of the couch and twined their fingers together.

"Maybe she deserves a chance at undead life, no matter how it turns out. I know it won't be easy for either of you, but don't you owe her that?"

"Yes," Josef said simply.

"Whatever happens, I'll be here, you know that."

Josef rested his head against their joined hands. "Promise me we'll never change."

"We're too contrary to change," Shane promised with a grin.

XXX

"Just curious – do I ever get to die?" Shane asked later, with humor.

"Nope."

"Not even when mortals finally succeed in destroying the earth and it explodes into a giant fireball?"

"No." And his tone was serious. "I'm thinking either a time machine back to the past, or living on another planet by then. Whichever proves more feasible."

Shane shot a look to the heavens. "Give me strength."

"With me and Sara Adams to contend with, I dare say you'll need it."

Shane couldn't agree more.

"If we go, we go together," Josef whispered.

It was an uncomfortable thought, but Shane knew it was time to accept his responsibilities. _All_ of them. "Together," he echoed, clasping Josef's hand tighter.

_._

_There's a place where you go_

_I never been, I never know_

_The pain you keep inside, the secrets that you hide_

_But I try to understand your pain_

_Be your shelter from the falling rain_

_Just maybe I feel what you're going through_

_Maybe I have been there, too…_

_._

**End Saving Shane**


	9. Unchained

**A/N**: Explicit adult sexual situations. M/M/F. Don't like, don't read. Josef, Shane, and Shane's Sara went on vacation at the end of "Saving Grace." Here's what happened between the three of them while they were on the road. It was inevitable, there was no other choice for anyone.

.

**UNCHAINED**

.

_Oh my love, my darling I've hungered for your touch a long lonely time_

_Time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much_

_Are you still mine?_

_I need your love…_

_--Unchained Melody_

_._

On the road, somewhere between L.A. and Oslo, blacktop stretching before us into the horizon. Sunny days spent in dark motel rooms or sometimes cool caves, nights roaming the land like rock and roll gypsies. I was a Viking again, exploring the world; Sara was a wild child set free from her cage of Resurrection; Josef was free to be just Jay-Jay, for a little while forgetting the business and responsibilities and suits. What awaited us at the end of the trip, some of it known and some unknown, would change our lives again forever. For now though, we were in between the heartbeats of time, untouched and unfettered.

_Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the open arms of the sea_

_Lonely rivers sigh; wait for me I'll be coming home, wait for me…_

It was inevitable, like a river flowing to the sea, the inexorable pull of destiny calling us ever closer. Of course it wasn't a surprise, the writing was on the wall, the only mystery was the exact time and circumstances. The night is made for mystery – and for revealing secrets.

The bar was tucked back off the main highway, a hole in the wall barely the size of The Last Resort. It could have been a country hick bar, or a motorcycle club dive. It turned out to be neither.

Sara and I slid into one side of the booth as Josef took a seat on the other. A waitress appeared almost immediately and we all ordered our usual drinks. The place was very dark, music playing a surprise: Depeche Mode. I tapped my fingers absently on the table top to the beat.

"Ahem," Josef said, smirking at me in a way I hadn't seen much of lately. "Do you notice anything, um, unusual about this place?"

I took a more careful look around and saw what had him so amused. The couples on the dance floor and milling around were quite obviously mixed: male and female, but also same sex pairings. We had stumbled upon one of those bars that hides on the outskirts of a town, discreetly tucked into the shadows where the regular citizens can pretend it doesn't exist.

I shrugged and picked up the drink that the waitress had just delivered. "Salute!"

"Nostrovia," Josef echoed, allowing a hint of accent to come out, touching his glass of scotch to my J.D.

"Skål," Sara gave the Norwegian toast, doing the same with her beer.

"Humans," Josef muttered with a head shake.

"We're not toasting to humans, are we?" I teased.

"To vampires," Sara said, voice carefully low despite the noisy environment.

"Now _that_ I can drink to," Josef declared, taking another swallow of his scotch.

A slow number started playing, Unchained Melody. "How about to us?" I suggested, but before anyone could toast again I was on my feet. "Let's dance." Sara stood up immediately, and took the hand I held out.

When I remained standing by the table, other hand held out, Josef finally got the message. It's not easy to shock him, but it seems I'm getting better at it these days. He hesitated another moment, then took my hand and we headed out onto the dance floor.

We swayed to the music, bodies close. It was easy to get lost in the beautiful melody, in the one perfect moment. The song went on, and we were lost in our own world. With an arm around each of them, I began singing along quietly.

"And time can do so much. Are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. God speed your love to me…"

Holding the two people in the universe who meant everything to me, feeling their solid bodies and spirits surround me was suddenly overwhelming. I felt the tide rising up in me… among other things.

"I love you both so much," I said fiercely. I felt Sara smile against my shoulder and sensed Josef's reaction in his body, too. After a moment I pulled away from their embrace. It was definitely too much for a public venue. "Let's get out of here," I suggested in a rough voice.

We headed toward the door without speaking, and I tossed several bills on the table on our way out to cover the tab.

Outside, the fresh air cleared my head, but only slightly. They were both right _there_ with me, not that I expected they wouldn't be. It was _time_, and we all knew it. This was the only way things could go for us, we'd known it for a long time now. I couldn't bear to give either of them up, nor they me. I've only loved two people in over nine hundred years, would it be fair for me to have to?

We walked the short distance to the motel, anticipation keeping us silent. I opened the door to the room I shared with Sara, but didn't bother with the light. It closed behind us. My nerves were on edge, body already thrumming from the passion and love bouncing between the three of us.

_Too much…_

"Easy…" Josef murmured, quickly detecting the potential for overload. His hands ran soothingly down my flank. Was I a skittish colt? Hardly, but I knew this was going to be intense for someone with my…unique senses. That was part of the reason I'd been reluctant so long, half afraid I'd spontaneously combust or something before the experience was even over.

We stood in a loose circle of arms, the three of us. Long moments passed where there was just the sound of breathing, heartbeat, smell of blood and sweat and two types of arousal. Taste…

_Oh yeah._ I ran my tongue down the side of Josef's jaw line, tasting him. Sara was next, and I kissed her passionately. He tasted of road dirt and salty male vampire, her mouth of human sweetness. The taste of him mixing with the taste of her had me drunk already, and we weren't even undressed yet.

That thought spurred me on. I started unbuttoning Josef's shirt, hands a little clumsy with need. Then Sara was helping me out of my own clothing and I was trying to help her as well, and Josef joined in and we all laughed at the tangle of hands. I reached down between my legs to rub myself, seeking to ease the ache but of course that only made it worse.

This was uncharted territory; I didn't know how it was going to play out. We'd had threesomes before, Josef and I, but this wasn't the same. This was about as far from as you could get.

A shirt went flying in one direction, a blouse in another. "Oh great, now I'm wearing a Thrift Store reject and he doesn't rip it," Josef grumbled of the shirt that slid unharmed to the floor at his feet.

Two sets of hands at my waist, undoing my belt and pants was incongruously the hottest thing I'd experienced so far. A hand brushed my erection, sending a shiver across my body. Then Josef grabbed me roughly and the pleasure slammed through me, taking the arousal up several notches instantaneously.

The cool air of the room had hardened Sara's nipples the moment her blouse was gone, and I yearned for a taste. I bent over to flick out a tongue, and felt Josef's hand glide over the globes of my ass, squeezing and caressing.

"I want you both," I groaned.

"You have us," Sara said.

Everything became a blur of sensation after that. Last of clothing discarded; hands and mouths and bodies entwining instinctively. I wish I could remember every detail, vividly painted on my mind for eternity, but it's the feelings are burned into my memory. The feeling of their skin, sliding, pressing, rubbing against mine. One warm, slick with sweat, the other cooler, warming with the heat we're generating. Both as familiar to me as my own skin. His hands are big and demanding, hers small and gentle, having both of them on me at once was exquisite torture. We shared addicting three-way kisses that I felt down to my toes.

A tongue followed a trail up the side of my chest as another teased the head of my cock. All I could do was close my eyes and sway on my feet. You've really never lived until you've have two people making love to your body at once. It's indescribable, especially when the motivation is love.

And they both knew me so well, knew when to back off and give me a breather, pulling me with them to the bed. I'm usually in control during sex and I've gotten very good at it over the many centuries, but that night I was just…gone.

We moved together on the bed, Josef at my back and Sara facing me. I caressed the soft curves of her body, while he slid slippery fingers into me, caressing, teasing. That hand reached around and circled my cock, stroking up and down smoothly. "You'd better fuck her now," Josef whispered, punctuating that with a nip to the ear next to his mouth.

I slid into Sara with a groan and feeling of homecoming, muffling her cry of pleasure with my mouth. I lost myself in fucking her for a few moments, until Josef's hands on my hips stilled me, spreading my cheeks apart. Then Sara held me as I was filled by Josef's cock from behind, and all I could do was moan and growl with pleasure. Having her holding me, hearing my sounds as I was being fucked was the most intimate thing I'd ever experienced. She was now the one gentling me, keeping me from flying apart.

"What does it feel like?" Sara asked me with breathless curiosity.

"Oh god…" I couldn't answer, didn't have a way to explain the sensations bombarding me as he hit my prostate over and over. Every nerve ending was on fire. Just as I felt myself losing it, Josef stilled again and reached around to grab the base of my cock, staving off the impending orgasm. I shuddered violently for a moment before regaining some control.

We lay there unmoving, waiting for me to get back from the brink, until even the eroticism of the motionless embrace was pushing me back towards that cliff. Josef began moving again, kissing and nipping along my shoulder blade. Every thrust of his pushed me into her, and I let his momentum dictate our pace and rhythm. Sara was with me for the ride, her nails digging into me where she was gripping my arm. I want to die like that; her body blanketing my front and his pressing into me from behind.

The black velvet darkness was all I could see, that and red. I couldn't help but cry out at a particularly powerful thrust from him and it reverberated through Sara's body, she shuddered and cried out too. Josef was making growling noises that were driving me insane. We had a beautiful, perfectly synchronized pace going now. Sara slid her leg over mine for a better angle.

I started seeing stars before my eyes at that point, as I was driven higher, out of my mind. "Baby, please," I moaned, not knowing which one I was imploring. Then he bit the back of my neck and I was hurling toward orgasm at a dizzying speed. An arm slipped itself between Sara and I and I immediately clamped down on it with fangs, my scream muffled in his flesh. I felt myself falling, crashing, but their two bodies caught me. Cradled between, I was safe.

Later, after Sara fell asleep and I no longer felt like I was going to fall apart if I uttered a word, we talked quietly, Jay-Jay and I. Mostly of silly, inconsequential things. Reminiscing about good days past. We laughed and kissed, and I felt a peace between us that I hadn't felt in hundreds of years. Maybe never.

We didn't speak of the future or our final destination, New York, where – if all went well – Sarah Whitley would awaken from her coma and be reunited with a man who didn't exist anymore. None of us knew what events the days ahead were going to bring, but for the first time we were secure in each other.

The bond between the three of us now, would never be broken. They, Sara and Josef, were my heart, my soul, my spirit and my reason for living. And I was theirs.

.

**Melody**

(Josef)

.

You're probably wondering how I feel right now. It's not a topic that comes easy to me. How do I feel? I feel…

I _feel_.

XXX

_Irony is such a bitch._ That's what I came up with after watching miles and miles of road fly past the window. It gave me a lot of time to think. I don't particularly like travelling, especially long trips in a car. I have no idea what they see in it, I really don't. So why was I there? To be with him. God, I hate admitting that.

_On the outside, looking in._ What does that mean? It popped into my head and I had no idea why. _Face the music. _That's another one that repeated in my mind too. Was I the condemned man on his way to the execution? Or maybe a groom having one last hurrah before tying the knot? There was a Sara in the car with me and a Sarah waiting for me in New York. See? Irony.

The man can surprise me; he keeps me on my toes when most people can't even begin to provide me with a challenge. I know how he is; when Shane makes a decision about something he jumps in with both feet and does it 200%, no regrets or second thoughts. Still, I was shocked when he held out his hand to me in that bar.

I guess it's pretty obvious by now that vampires have a different view than humans of just about everything, and that includes sexuality. Still, we exist in the same era as you do. When we're mixing with humans we tend to get painted with the same brush, as inaccurate as it may be. Unfortunately, we don't all live in our own little world together. We must go out in yours. Remind me to tell you about the time the two of us went out trolling for gay bashers together. Don't get me wrong, I rarely get involved in issues of human injustice, unless there's something in it for me. Those were fun times… but I digress.

Then there's the matter of ingrained beliefs left over from the time period one was turned in. The passing centuries fade those into a blur, but they can definitely still play a small but sometimes notable role. Take Shane. I suspect he's still more Viking than he'd like to let on. You can take the vamp out of the Viking Age, but you can't take the Viking Age out of the vamp… or something like that. That's one of the things I've come to understand since Sara Adams walked into our lives.

It's funny, after four hundred years, we're finally starting to "get" each other.

Back to the dance that started it all… No, not that dance, not the one we'd been doing around each other for centuries, but the literal one. I was still musing on the absurdity of humans and that fear/obsession/shame thing they've got going regarding sexuality when I looked up to see his hand beckoning me.

_And time can do so much, are you still mine?_

Unchained Melody was playing. As he started singing the words to us I was wondering, _were you ever mine? _Probably not now, not ever, but as the three of us swayed together on the dance floor something happened. Don't look at me that way; I know it's weird to hear me saying things like this.

As vampires, Shane and I have the ability to sense certain things about other vampires, to recognize them, tell their age, etc. As my sire, we share a deeper connection. When you throw in Shane's unique projecting and receiving abilities to the mix, well, let's just say that I can sense his moods and it's difficult for me not to respond in kind.

"I love you both so much…"

There was so much emotion in that one sentence that it hit me like a physical blow. Honesty, need, love… It was like being inside his skin and being able to feel everything he'd gone through in the past several months. Oh, I felt the arousal too. Swept away in the moment, in the mood, I knew exactly what was coming next when he said, "let's get out of here." And I wanted it.

I'd be a liar if I said the concept never crossed my mind, probably all of our minds, but I never expected it so soon. Figured it would be maybe another few years before that step was even contemplated seriously. Yet there we were.

Funny, after four hundred years we can still surprise each other.

We were all there, in the zone, by the time we reached the motel room. Shane was beyond; the intensity coming off of him and sparking our own was magnified and returning to him. Sometimes I envy him that ability, but most of the time I wouldn't want it. Just having this little taste of it is terrifying enough.

Would you believe, all the expensive clothing Shane takes perverse pleasure in ripping off me, yet the ugly shirt I'd picked up at Goodwill to bum around in on the trip and he nicely removes it to pool at my feet?!

This part is even harder to talk about, but being there in that three-way embrace felt so…right. Four hands instead of two, two bodies instead of one. Both Sara and I showing our love for him in the most basic way we could. With our bodies. He showing both of us our place in his life by allowing us three to be together like this. Sara was accepting, out of love; Shane was allowing, out of love. It fell to me to give, out of love. I made sure he didn't get too overloaded, and since I knew he'd be incapable of much once we started fucking I reminded him to take Sara first.

I have a joke for you: What's the vampire version of safe sex? Answer: Two vamps and a human. Still don't get it? They have each other to bite (among other things often involved in vamp sex).

This joining was so primal, so raw. Unbelievably intense. He was totally surrendering to the passion, to me, letting me control his body. Sharing this with me, and sharing his Sara with me. It would have driven me to my knees had I been standing.

We joined more than bodies that night.

XXX

Things like sex tend to tire out you fragile humans, so Sara dozed off eventually, leaving the vampires to talk quietly in the darkness. Then he surprised me again.

"We never finished our dance."

It's another of the things I'm loathe to admit, that I can't resist that silky inviting voice when it's aimed at me. So we did, Shane providing the music, singing "Unchained Melody" again as we moved together, the song I'll forever think of as our song now. Our as in the three of us.

I found myself smiling hesitantly. It was new and scary, this feeling. For the first time in maybe forever I didn't want to watch the world from my throne, managing everything and pulling the strings from behind the scenes while remaining aloof and untouchable. I wanted to be in the scene, a part of someone. Touched…

Felt his love seeping from the hands on my naked skin. Knew then that I had denied this all these years, by keeping up a barrier between us. We'd had a strong connection, no question. But I'd blocked a lot of it…

Decided to try. "I love you," I whispered to him. And I'd said it enough times before but my god this was totally different. He smiled and kissed me and I felt it. For the first time I really believed it because I could feel it. Felt what he'd been trying to get me to see forever. No pain or anger or resentment. No guilt. It had all dropped away like chains unlocked….

_I need your love…_

I've said the words before, so many times. They were a challenge, an attack. Now, they were simply true.

To understand me you have to understand him and vice versa, our lives are bound too tightly to separate. And as I glanced over to the bed and his red headed wild child I knew, as surely as the vision that had come over me in the freezer that day, that it was her. She was the catalyst for everything. Everything that had happened all started because of a seemingly innocuous action of hers. Sending a tape of Shane's band to L.A. and thus beginning everything that's come since and will come in future. But more than that, somehow it was Sara who'd given us the key to unlock those chains between us. Who allowed us to love each other. I once thought of her as a rival. Now I realized I needed her almost as much as Shane did.

For once in my life I wouldn't have made any bets on what the future would bring. I didn't expect it to be smooth sailing; even love doesn't render me that naïve. But I'll always have this one perfect night to remember, to use as measure against my life.

The vision? I'd already changed some of it. In the original future, I never showed him the truth, never opened myself up to them like this. I'll always keep watch over him though, to make sure it doesn't come true, you can bet on that.

The immediate future? We'd deal with whatever came. If I must share him (and vice versa), if we went another decade without seeing each other as I dealt with my Sarah and he with his… We would enjoy the time we had left. We'd end the trip with a visit to Norway, where he'd share his past with us. And then I would go to New York. To my lovely Sarah who sacrificed everything for me. And God help me, to admit I made a mistake. For the man who's always right, that regret is a bitter pill -- yet the things I've done right are astonishing.

I broke the number one rule I've lived by all these centuries. I started caring. Wanting to be a part of something bigger than me alone, to belong. Son of a bitch…

I really _am_ in love with the bastard!

.

**Refrain**

(Sara)

.

After all that happened, my mom dying and… all that other stuff I don't want to even think about now, Shane announced we needed to get the hell out of town for awhile. Road trip! I was _there_, if you know what I mean. Down with that, copacetic, cool with it, hell yeah! I approved. How he convinced Josef to leave Kostan Industries and join us I'll never know… or maybe I do.

In retrospect, we needed to spend the time together, the three of us. Yeah, it was another one of those choices which isn't really a choice. Because the alternative isn't an option. I don't expect most people to understand us, but then you know how I feel about _most_ people…

We made memories to last a lifetime, maybe even a vampire lifetime. If you repeat this I know he'll deny it, but Josef can be a lot of fun when he finally loosens up a bit. Not _that_ way, get your minds out of the gutter! Well, okay, that way too, but that's beside the point. It was the first time I'd ever seen him _act_ twenty five instead of four hundred. People talk about me and Shane – those two are a trip when they get together! Not sure I've ever laughed harder or more often. I have a feeling I was privileged to see something rare that very few people ever have. And that was before _that_ night.

Hot sex, two sexy hot men, me. Need I say more? Yeah, I figured I did. It was so sweet when we danced together in the bar, and I could feel a connection forming, or maybe just intensifying, I have a feeling it's been there for awhile. I love Shane, Shane loves Josef. Josef loves Shane, Shane loves me. We have one really important thing in common, and there is _nothing_ more important to either of us.

If people knew of our unconventional relationship they'd ask me how I could "accept" it. As if jealousy and possessiveness are required and desirable qualities of being in love. Where do they get you? Usually broken up, from what I've seen. I love Shane _enough_ to accept all of him, all the wonderful qualities and also all the baggage that one thousand years accumulates. If I didn't, I'd lose him if not now eventually, and that _is_ unacceptable. Not that I'm comparing Josef to a suitcase! (can you just picture his reaction now?!). 'Course if he was, he'd be top-of-the-line expensive leather, with lots of hidden compartments; hard and tough on the outside but really soft on the inside.

So yeah, I got to join in with them in an intimate setting, see Shane in a situation I never would have otherwise, to share the one thing with him that as a woman I could never relate to but have been curious about. Three people who normally refuse to appear vulnerable in front of anyone, being vulnerable with each other. Naked in more than just bodies. Joined in body and soul. Shane was inside of me and Josef was inside of him and it was exotic and alien and amazing. I love and trust them both, and I know I'm safe with them. And don't knock it till you've tried it, because I can tell you it's a _huge_ turn on.

Fuck it; I'm tired of trying to explain myself. Suffice to say, being in bed with two beautiful male bodies was no hardship. Maybe we'll have some issues to tackle down the road somewhere, I'm not totally unaware of the potential, but we'll deal with it if/when.

After we'd all gotten what we came for (literally), Shane held us both close. "Do you know how special you both are?" he'd whispered to us.

I looked at Josef and our gazes locked, silently acknowledging what he meant to both of us. We were together in that, shared a special bond as the two people who loved Shane Alexander _this_ much. I saw the emotion, the struggle in his face, just a hint of wetness in his eyes catching the incoming light from the parking lot outside that peeked in behind the curtains. I nodded to him in encouragement.

"Maybe you don't know how special you are to _us_," he whispered back.

Both understanding the other because of it. I think I've felt that for him since I first learned the true nature of their relationship. I never would have pegged myself for an empath or anything, god knows I've never been the most sensitive where most people's feelings are concerned. But in a very real way Josef _shares_ mine. How can I not?

I guess I'm still stupid about some things. I just don't understand why people have so many hang ups about sex. It's just a physical act. It can be love or hate, tenderness or violence. It's the feelings that count. And if either of us had missed out on this then we'd have missed out on something vital, only be getting a part of Shane. He wants us to have _all_ of him, and in return he gets all of us. It can't work any other way for any of us.

In case you're wondering, yeah there were other nights on that trip and we managed to cover all the emphases. Just know that love can and does overcome almost anything. And love does not mean shackles.

Love is unchained.

.

**end Unchained**


	10. While My Guitar Gently Weeps

**A/N**: Non-explicit sensual scene. It's intended to be Josef/Shane but can be read as _any_ two people or gender you'd like as it's not directly stated. Want to think of it as Mick and Beth? Feel free. Interpret it however you want.

.

**While My Guitar Gently Weeps**

.

I look at the world and I notice it's turning

while my guitar gently weeps

with every mistake we must surely be learning

still my guitar gently weeps.

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping

while my guitar gently weeps

--1968 Harrisongs Ltd

.

I watch his hands as he plays the guitar, fascinated by the nimble fingers. They handle the strings with the confidence of long practice. Hands that can make _me_ sing now coax music out of the instrument in his arms. He's had a lot of practice at that, too – nearly four hundred years worth.

I asked him to play me some blues, and of course it's a bluesy rock tune but that's okay. It's a part of him now, until I almost can't listen to a rock and roll song without thinking of him.

The last notes of the song fade and I reach over, placing my hand over his, stilling the echo until the room is again silent. The fingers turn, twine with mine. You probably think we've never held hands before. You'd be wrong.

I'm feeling pleasantly mellow, drunk on moonshine and other things, more amorphous things. Everything seems muted, distant, as if I'm not really here but watching from some other place. There are two of me, and they both watch as those hands put the guitar aside. I invite them closer and they accept, find my body and move over the skin they know so well and can easily bring to life. Strong, sure, they give what I need, take what they want. These hands have loved, and they have killed. Played guitar and played me. All with the same accomplishment. Magic hands.

My acute senses catalog every detail. Cloth rustling, being pushed aside, zipper loud by contrast. We haven't spoken since he started playing for me, and I'm glad as I'm loathe to break this odd spell. What is there to say anyway? We can talk anytime. It may be a long time before we touch this way again.

It used to be that I would go for years without this and never miss it; now that the possibility looms I find myself wanting more. Wanting it all the time. He would tell you I'm perverse that way.

Hands play my flesh as expertly as they did the guitar, coaxing it to sing now. He might hate classical music, but we've got a full orchestra here. Touch is relentless, persistent, brooking no argument and taking no prisoners. The familiar smell of desire, his and mine, weighs heavy in the air. The sounds of lovemaking are the chorus to our private song. Taste explodes in my mouth, both sharp and sweet, rich and heady. Sight… those hands. I watch them on my body as closely as I did the guitar earlier. I'm fixated on them as they take me higher with every passing moment. The music swells as the maestro conducts this piece with intensity and command. My body obeys, riding the waves of arousal, higher with each upsurge. I want the song to be over; I want it to last forever. I want everything and nothing.

I can't see the fingers anymore, but I can feel them, they are all I can feel, my world are those hands on me, in me. I'm vibrating with the pleasure now, the chorus has repeated for the last time, building to a crescendo, louder, harder, faster, until that final moment when the world explodes…

And then silence.

My body is humming in the aftermath, sated and relaxed. A good piece of…music will do that to you. It was a good show, worth the price of admission and the kind a person might be smiling about for hours. I don't want it to end yet though, so I contemplate the chance of encores and consider standing ovations. My lazy gaze falls on the guitar, abandoned to rest against the couch, and I feel sorry for it. It surely enjoys the hands as much as I.

"Play me some more rock and roll." I'll watch some more, while he makes love to his guitar and the minutes of eternity pass through the night and into a new day.

I love those hands. I love the man.

**End while my guitar gently weeps**

**.**

**end note: **With this chapter, I have now caught up with the story to the current chapter of Prophesy. Josef is back in New York to deal with the situation with Sarah Whitley. If you've read the preceeding chapters, you now understand the complicated relationship between Josef and his sire, Shane, and all the things they've gone through to get to the present.


End file.
